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Getting Over a Breakup
(midwest.social)
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this post was submitted on 18 Jul 2023
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Asklemmy
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I'm very sorry you're going through this. Someone broke things off with me and it still hurts, even if it has been a while. The first month was the hardest, then it gets easier bit by bit. What helped me was keeping busy with work, I had a lot going on to keep me distracted. I tried to do things that I didn't do before, or that I wanted to try and never got the chance to do, or stopped doing when I got in the relationship. I found it important to try to enjoy my solitude, but that takes time. Go places, even if it's very near you. I delved into my hobbies to keep my mind off of it. If you can, try to process things bit by bit, just don't try to escape your feelings in the long run, that fucked me over(It's been a while since I avoided processing my former relationship so yea).
Yeah, we can't escape feelings forever. I guess it's just tough to understand why I have to go through so many difficulties in life.
Again, I'm sorry you have to deal with a lot right now, I wish I could help you. I forgot to add in my original comment to do "the list". Add to it little by little over time some aspects that stuck with you from the former relationship(if it is not too painful). This is a tool to use for self reflection and to not idealise the former partner(s), it's useful when I think about reaching out.
For me it's easier in a way, the relationship that ended sucked, but my mind often recalls what I wanted it to be instead of what it was. Recalling and seeing what went down is crucial for me, because it lets me know how I acted in certain situations and allows me to take responsibility for my actions(and if I don't like them, to see their root and try to look at it with compassion and patience instead of shame and frustration-still a work in progress for me right now).
While looking forward is scary, there is always something waiting. I thought I would never be worthy of peace or acceotance after I ended a previous relationship, and then the last one happened, which was good when it started. Give yourself time and care, to grieve and recharge. Breakups are exhausting. (Sorry for the long post) I'm rooting for you, and please don't hesitate to reach out whenever you can, I'm looking forward to an update.