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this post was submitted on 19 Nov 2023
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I worked in or around public health for a long time. You just broke off a piece of my heart, and fired my rage center. That is all too true, and all too ignored. The truth is never told and if it is it is not believed.
Thank you for saying this, I only hope it makes others just as sad and as enraged as it does me.
I wish it wasn't true. It makes me just as heartbroken and angry as you.
I know it isn't much of a response, I know we do what we can. If I could I would hug you, we could sob together, but Keep up the fight, Vote if you can, make your voice heard, don't stop being that thorn in the side that keep attention where it is needed instead of on that shiny thing over there. And I promise to do the same!
Thank you and I will keep fighting. I think the people who need that hug are the women who will not get the help they need and the obstetrics workers who can't do anything to help them. One side will be dying and the other side will be aware of the deaths and know they would be able to help if they were given the opportunity.
My MIL works in public health as well. The stories I’ve heard man. She’s also been the only one to try to talk my and my wife out of fostering (we have two kids of our own, have room in our house and hearts for another but don’t really want to do the whole pregnancy and newborn thing again. We’re still on the fence). Her reasoning is that we won’t be able to handle the heartbreak and having to be part of a lot of these stories.
I am not one to ask for trust from strangers on the Internet so take this as you will. I have seen true triumphs in the adoption/foster system, but much more often it goes very badly. I have seen good families destroyed, and individuals broken, I don't mean to poison that well, I want that system to work, but right now they are so underfunded and understaffed that there is no way for them to be effective, and the religious route is laughable at best, those organizations are charitably described as preditory, I have other words but they don't belong in polite conversation.
Well, and if your foster system is anything like the one in my state, the system will lie to you about what the kid needs and your biological children could suddenly be at risk of being sexually abused by the foster.
Super neat.
Fuck that, I'd never risk my kids in that way.
Yep. That was one of her concerns as well. Granted we live in different (though adjacent) states, we’ve known some other foster parents in our state and that particular concern never came up.