My high school and college journals are filled with so much angst about crushes and “do they like me? don’t they like me?” that it’s physically difficult to re-read them now, hah.

I had a crush on a redhead from about 10 until I left for college (it was a small town), then crushed on the various guys in my dorm and friend group (and one hot artist girl in a philosophy class) until I decided I needed to practice dating in junior year and actually went on a few thanks to Tinder. Though I didn’t escape entirely as I had a couple crushes on regular customers when I worked in an art supply store after graduating.

Now I’m happily partnered and do not miss the mental anxiety of crushes, though there’s a twinge of excitement in the idea of having a crush that will always be nostalgic.