Other way around, they're basically a US satellite state if anything. Biden said it himself, "if there wasn't an Israel we would have to invent one."

Here's a graph showing the countries that voted most closely in line with the US in the UN across the past couple decades:

The three dots behind Israel are former US Pacific Island territories that are currently US puppet states and officially give away much of their sovereignty to America under COFA. If you exclude those three, Israel aligns itself with America miles ahead of any other country.

Not quite true. Israel gets a lot of support from the US government because it's a useful ally.

It's the vanguard in the coveted Middle Eastern region (lots of oil) that is incidentally hated by everyone around them so you can easily use their status to provoke proxy wars, then invade and claim plausible deniability by saying you just helped out your ally.

Nah fam. Miss me with that nonsense. Why would a tiny nation control the US? They have influence with American interests in many ways, but control it? It makes no sense. The only position that this would make sense from is the same antisemetic cabal bullshit. A small group controls the world alright. The wealthy, most of whom are white Christians. They control things, not Jews.