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Those are some shitty friends and family.
I'm glad that you were able to achieve so much for yourself by focusing on yourself, many people never get to learn that lesson. Never forget that.
When you heal everything your formers have done to you, then you get to learn to find people that don't want to drag you down. It's hard; when we grow damaged and broken, we become a lighthouse for people looking for someone to take advantage. However, it's possible to change the lightbulb, we just have to heal first.
No. I don't need to heal. I'm healed.
I know I'm healed because instead of listening to people lecture me how damaged I am, I ignore them. Because that is what everyone in my life used to do, lecture me how damaged I am for not being like them and how 'concerned' they are for me. It's manipulation to setup a power dynamic where they are 'normal' and you are 'faulty' so later on they can convince you to do what they want.
Just like the lady last winter I tried to date who lectured me I am mentally ill and need therapy if I am happy driving a basic car, because a 'well-adjusted person has ambition and self respect and would want to drive a $100,000 car.' She drove a $70K car. She genuinely thought I was mentally ill. I genuinely thought she was a stupid idiot and I lost all respect/desire for her when she voiced her 'concern' for me.
I'd love to meet someone someday who thinks it's OK to be happy with driving a basic car, but I have literally never met such a person in my life. They might exist out there somewhere but I have never met them. Most folks I meet, sadly, just want to lecture me on how I need to have a more expensive one or how 'disappointed' they in me for driving such a 'cheap car' and how I have 'no self respect' if I do so. They also tell me how I have 'no self respect' because I don't own $5,000 suit and shit like that.
Weird how that works.
No offense but where the fuck are you finding such horrible people? I'd probably feel the same way in your shoes but the people you are describing sound cartoonishly evil and self absorbed. Like I don't know that I've ever met even a couple people like who are you describing.
my zip code is in the top ten highest HCOL in the USA.
People here are very cartoonish yes. They are straight out of New Yorker with how absurdly self-absorbed they are. And they see nothing wrong with it because they grew up that way. Lots of old money types. I have endless stories, like another date I went on a few months ago where a woman whined to me she only made 2 million dollars on her stock last year and how could she possible ever retire in if she isn't making like 5 million a year. she was 35. I told her I made $5000 in stock last year and ended the date instantly because she was so disgusted to be talking to a poor person.
Sorry Askew, I misunderstood you. I'm glad to hear you're healed.
The people in your story sound really superficial. I hope someday you find people that value and see things like you do. :-)