this post was submitted on 30 Sep 2026
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Fauxmoi

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[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 43 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (25 children)

Whining about being part of the same group that most rapists belong to when the overarching conversation is about how we prevent horrific crimes like gang rape is a choice a lot of men are making in here.

If you feel it’s more important to soothe men’s hurt feelings about being in the same group as most rapists rather than focusing on how we reduce rape, you have completely missed the fucking point.

93.6% of sexual abuse offenders were men in 2021 in the US.

[–] dkppunk@piefed.social 14 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Velma, this is exactly why I love you so much 💚

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 13 points 1 week ago (2 children)

<3

Thanks for being a voice with me, dkppunk.

[–] dkppunk@piefed.social 19 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

My face when reading some of these comments

Some of y’all guys are nasty

[–] Akasazh@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Somehow that picture has a similar vibe to this oldie:

[–] dkppunk@piefed.social 4 points 1 week ago

I found that one around here somewhere right as I was going through a full Voyager watch. I haven’t used it before, but it’s perfect for some of the men in this comment section. Just so yuck!

[–] dkppunk@piefed.social 6 points 1 week ago

Always have your back lady 💚

[–] rwrwefwef@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

93.6% of sexual abuse offenders were men in 2021 in the US.

Convicted offenders. Worth the precision.

[–] cinoreus@lemmy.world 10 points 1 week ago (1 children)

First of all fuck this conversation for bringing up depressing statistics.

The 93℅ of convicts being male is something I cannot debate. Even the number of cases being registered brings it down to 90℅, so even if some men are hiding, I don't think the numbers extrapolate below 85℅. Which honestly makes sense, rape is defined by power dynamics, and men are usually stronger than women, and 93℅ number matches closely with the strength distribution of male to female. Which is, 5℅ of women are stronger than 50℅ of the men. So even if I consider female to male rape being under reported, I don't think margin would be that large, and would largely be balanced by women who don't report.also looking up similar data from the EU only makes this case stronger. Only thing I have against the case is some anecdotes I've read when it comes to bars and discos about women being perpetrators far more often than numbers suggest, but like I said, those are anecdotes from reddit, so I'm not giving much weight to it till I see it myself,(or atleast if I see similar point being brought up in different threads). I tried being factual but fuck me for looking up all these numbers.

Secondly, it's complex issue. Your beliefs and Morality is not just in your parents hands, it's also your friends and by large today especially, the algorithm of your feed.

My biggest issue whenever y'all try to send messages like this is, these just never reach the people who need to hear it. As a man, I'm either in a group that's actually full of women respecting people, or a place that doesn't hesitate body shaming women on her freaking face. And I said "place" which means this is a socially accepted behavior amongst almost Everyone there. And what can I do when everyone around me is beyond redemption? I've met a guy who seriously took objection to the fact that most people chose to have their mothers signature in a form instead of their fathers. And yes, he was being misogynist, and he almost took pride in being called so.

Look I'm a socially awkward guy. I have no friends from that 'place'. And if you ask me, they were beyond redemption anyways. Some might grow up in future, some won't. I respect you western women for atleast avoiding people who display such behaviors, cause some women here didn't even object. I had to think twice before standing up for someone cause how casually some of them treated it.

Rest I don't even know what to say. It's just depressing to talk about rapes in general.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Rest I don’t even know what to say. It’s just depressing to talk about rapes in general.

Trust, I don't enjoy talking about this subject. But I think it's important. Because there's a general sentiment that feminism has gone far enough and that we've corrected enough to give women equality.

We haven't. So I keep talking about it. And I keep posting news articles because this keeps happening over and over and over again.

I posted some stats here that cover a range of issues.

Don't lump yourself in with the men that choose to put their selfish wants above other's boundaries if you don't do so. Continue to speak up for the women in your life. That's all that anyone can ask of you here.

[–] cinoreus@lemmy.world 7 points 1 week ago

This one's not even that bad when it comes to getting lumped, cause I know only monsters do stuff like this, and I am not one of them, or almost anyone I'm in touch with.

Honestly most depressing one was when the grok was on a freaking rampage of nudifying women without their consent at the start of the year. Idk it was something freaking dystopian shit unfolding in front of my eyes, especially seeing how laxed government response was. I remember Linus from Linus tech tips getting emotional thinking this could be his children one day, and I realised I'm kinda lucky in that regard, cause my loved ones don't post pictures online. But still, just the fact that something we considered sexual harassment until yesterday today became the new normal was horrifying. And barrier of entry was so low it could have just been any random guy who was doing that.

I still think we didn't do enough to prevent this from happening silently.

[–] KatakiY@lemmy.world 5 points 1 week ago (2 children)

I agree with you. Men need to be taught better and most rapist are men due to the obvious. However crime statistics always make me feel kinda gross and reminds me of conservatives doing the same for black crime statistics.

[–] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 11 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

However crime statistics always make me feel kinda gross and reminds me of conservatives doing the same for black crime statistics.

I think there's a fundamental difference.

Overpolicing of poor and black neighborhoods by racist cops looking to meet quotas creates "crime statistics".

But this is under policing of rich white fraternities, resulting in chronic misconduct by a select few bad actors.

At some point, it's like talking about serial killers or pedophiles from a racial lense, when the problem isn't racial. It's the fact that you don't arrest Ted Bundy or Jeffrey Epstein, and they crank up the statistics for their cohort single handedly.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago (1 children)

However crime statistics always make me feel kinda gross and reminds me of conservatives doing the same for black crime statistics.

You'd rather we don't track the problem?

The numbers, even if they're slightly inaccurate (which I don't think they're far off), show that there's a clear imbalance as to who are the perpetrators. Women know this from experience as well.

There's many reasons that men are overwhelmingly the demographic that rapes people and they're not waived away by simply claiming that people are being sexist against men.

[–] ricecake@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 week ago

I don't get the impression that that's what they're saying.
I get the impression that they agree, but that it's literally the quoting of crime statistics to highlight a problem that feels bad to them.

Which I can understand. It invites quibbling over statistics and somehow distances you from the point being made because it highlights a pattern but leaves the conclusion up to the listener.

This in no way speaks against the statistic, the conclusion or the problem. Just commiserating that statistics have been used to mislead so often that it can feel bad to use them, even if entirely justified.

[–] LovableSidekick@lemmy.world 2 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (1 children)

I agree that they're missing the point, but if you think the point of threads like this is to focus on how to reduce rape, so are you. The point is to stimulate and/or vent anger about rape, barely even paying lip service to reducing it.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 4 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (8 children)

Awareness is half the battle. Social pressure can move mountains.

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[–] starelfsc2@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago (1 children)

If the messaging doesn't work let's just keep doing it with no changes and tell everyone who misinterprets it they're wrong? How is it I see the same comments on these posts for literally the past 10 years, clearly it's not being communicated effectively.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago

The rapists in this particular story never saw any punishment outside of having to write some essays.

We could start with holding rapists accountable for their crimes. Until then, we're not going to shut up about how many men are raping us with no consequences.

[–] Tattorack@lemmy.world -2 points 1 week ago (4 children)

93.6% of sexual abuse offenders were men in 2021 in the US.

Statistics don't matter if there is a bias at the data gathering level.

Thebkind if statistic that always gets shot down is the fact that woman-on-man rape is under reported, doesn't get taken seriously when it does get reported, and usually doesn't even get filed, and so makes no blip on rape statistics.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago

Also consider this a warning for misinformation. Bring sources if you're going to push statistics.

[–] Taleya@aussie.zone 10 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

You know when you shouldn't be bringing up male victim statistics?

When we're literally discussing events around a male on female gang rape that was "handled" with having to write an essay

Bringing that up here and now here just makes you look like you're trying to derail the conversation

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) (4 children)

so makes no blip on rape statistics.

You're pushing misinformation. It is tracked:

Most identified victims of child sexual abuse are girls, but boys also experience serious harm. Child protective services records show that boys make up a larger share of identified victims among younger children than among teenagers.

According to child protective services records, boys account for 30% of sexual abuse victims ages 0-11.

Among victims ages 12-17, boys account for 11%.

Sexual violence against men and boys is often overlooked, but police files show that it happens across multiple types of reported sex crimes.

Nationwide, in 11% of reported rapes, the victim is male.

Every survivor deserves to be recognized, believed, and supported. Naming sexual violence against men and boys helps make sure fewer survivors are left out of the conversation.

18% of U.S. men experience verbal sexual harassment at work or in public during their lifetimes.

At least 4% of rape is perpetrated by women.

Each year, an average of 5,510 female perpetrators are reported for rape, according to law enforcement reporting.

Bias does not account for the staggering difference between perpetrators though:

According to child protective services agencies nationwide, 89% of identified child sexual abuse perpetrators are male.

About 8% of identified offenders are female. The rest are unknown or unclassified.

Sexual violence can happen to anyone, but police files show that reported rape overwhelmingly involves female victims.

Nationwide, female victims experience nearly 9 in 10 reported rapes.

These numbers make clear why prevention, accountability, and survivor support must address the disproportionate harm experienced by girls and women, while recognizing that every survivor deserves care. Source

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[–] Madzielle@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 week ago (1 children)

The only men Ive known who were raped, were raped by other men.

[–] velma@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 week ago

Most rapists of women, children, and men are other men. You're not wrong with this point.

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