this post was submitted on 30 Sep 2026
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Fauxmoi
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Buddy, you were close to making a good point, but this is not a tactful way to say what you're trying to say. This is victim blaming.
We should teach boys not to be rapists.
Teaching girls how to spot a rapist is not a bad thing either, as long as teaching boys not to be rapists is still the priority.
But women who date rapist men are not "part of the problem", they are often the victims of rape. They are the victims, and you are directing blame at them. Fuck off with that toxic shit.
You're missing the point, the #notallmen stuff is referring to wider culture, and how people enable it. This is outside of individual perpetrators and victims, so you can't narrow the focus on just that.
Yes men that participate in toxic masculinity further this environment.
But also, women that participate in toxic masculinity also enable it, and should also be part of the conversation.
This is not victim blaming in any way shape or form
We live in a patriarchal society that hurts both genders in different ways.
It’s still not women’s fault when they are raped by men. It’s those men’s faults.
Genuine question- how early do you think such teaching should occur? Because for many of us (women), predation on us starts much younger than men seem to realize. The truth is, if we were to focus on teaching women to avoid groomers, we’d need to have full-on courses on psychology for elementary schoolers.
Now let’s logically follow through your idea here. So if we were to successfully teach girls (because again, if you wait to teach “women” then you’re already too late) to avoid “confident” men, what’s going to happen? Hm seems like a lot of boys would end up being avoided by girls, treated pre-emptively as rapists. Isn’t that what the manosphere complains about already? That girls and women don’t “give guys a chance” or what-have-you?
This is the exactly the type toxic masculinity you are whining about.
Stop blaming women for the bullshit that men do to us.
Consider the example I gave earlier, a man Joe is being sleazy, grabbing girls on the ass and making crass uninvited comments, ie being a pest. One girl Jane speaks up and says this is out of place, and looks for recognition that this shouldn't be socially acceptable. Most people ignore her. A second guy Jack brings up the issue and says hey we shouldn't let this happen, and a chorus of girls, Jenny, Mary and Kate respond saying it's just some fun, the guy is from a different country, don't be a pain.
The girls here are part of the problem, and are facilitating toxic masculinity. This is a real life situation I have seen first hand up close.
Short answers saying all men are the problem and women can't do anything and stop blaming the victim, and avoiding the real issue that women also create the environments that toxic masculinity thrives in, and can take steps to stop it.
But instead you get brain rot comments like "stop blaming women", which are just dismissive and miss the whole point
The fact that you come onto a post about a woman who was raped by multiple men, a post that says “of course we know it’s not all men, it’s too many”, and then proceed to whine about women and call them girls makes you an unsafe person.
What are you talking about? The text is about the #notallmen and #alllivesmatter hash tags
Yes. They are stupid fucking hashtags. If that is all you got from Simon Pegg’s post then you need to work on your reading comprehension skills. Disgusting
I have a better idea. Let's punish rapists.
Hot take: People who focus on punishment rather than prevention don't really care about victims.
I prefer a solution where a woman didn't get raped at all.
We should focus on both.
Cold as the last ring of hell take: criminals must be punished. Without punishment men will continue raping, harassing, stalking, groping, etc. because they know they will be just fine, especially if they are in power.
Part of punishment is deterrence. Perpetrators are protected by their community and their wealth. They think that they won't get caught, and if they do get caught they won't get punished, and if they do get punished, the punishment will be minimal. Worst case scenario: daddy will hire an expensive lawyer to get them off the hook.
Nobody would propose that we prevent murder by allowing murderers to get off scot-free and focusing on murder prevention.
Both are necessary and not mutually exclusive.
Quips like that just sound like dismissive brain rot.
Yes punish them, yes teach men to avoid toxic masculinity
AND
teach women to not reward toxic masculinity as well
I'm not sure that you understand what toxic masculinity is. For one thing, a confident man isn't necessarily a rapist, and a meek, nerdy man isn't necessarily safe. Nerdy guys can hold ideas from toxic masculinity, too. There is no rapist bingo card that tells a woman whether a man is safe or not.
You're right that dangerous individuals are impossible to spot from any traits like that. I am referring to toxic masculinity as a culture or environment, like chauvinism, condescending attitudes, sleaziness and so on, this is visible and obvious.
I was saying that from my experience women can be very accepting of this behaviour and actively facilitate it depending on who is doing it. I gave an example of a situation involving people I knew well where they stood up for someone being an obvious pest because they found it fun or sexy in some way, while other women involved were mortified at the behaviour. Women can and do facilitate toxic masculinity, but the conversation is always directed at men like they are the only ones that interact with dodgy people
yes, its definitely the womens fault, totally
do I need the /s?
Toxic masculinity is a societal issue, it is fueled by both men and women, and requires both men and women to deal with it.
In this case yes, women also participate in enabling toxic masculinity