chat

So I graduated from uni a week or so ago, as an older adult. Life up until now has been various forms of struggle, mostly with poverty but also undiagnosed audhd and other misfortunes like abuse and stuff.

I've mentioned my shitty family dynamic on this site before, but in essence I am from one of those families where one parents family is working class and the other is very much petty bougie/bougie. The bougies are on my dads side and they've only ever treated me bad, there was all sorts of abuse as a kid and also ridicule. Our family lost everything in the 90s depression and none of those people were there for us, were told to pick ourselves up by our bootstraps standing in the food aid line. Also realized later they are basically nazis if we look at history.

I've moved far away from them decades ago and kept zero contact. They all think they are "better people", because higher ed and civility lib bs. All are raging russophobes and ukraine stans. They have this mens club thing that my poor dad participates in where my prole partner was never welcome, my sisters physicist partner however was invited. It's all about keeping up appearances and this fake superiority that defines them. I hated it as a kid and thought they were pretentious unserious fucks and I hate it now.

My dad has a cousin. A particularly annoying extremely extroverted right winger of the old school type whose greatest contribution to my life used be him telling a humiliating "funny" story about me as a toddler in every large family function. He told it even when I was a young adult and clearly enjoyed the abuse. He is one of the boys club people they have and some sort of right wing rebublican type failed local politician too afaik. I despise him, always have. He is a special ed teacher who bragged about abusing his students.

And here's the thing. He has been trying to call me, about twice a day, for almost a week. I only knew not to answer, because these pretentious fucks did this when I got my bachelors a few years ago, so I was expecting it. He and my dads brother both do this (my dads brother is my godfather who I also despise and have had zero contact with in decades). What this means in their world is that now I am considered "worth noticing" in their book, but only by ambushing me into a call. Like dude, send a text message like a normal person so I am not forced to the extremely ankward position of trying to be civil to someone I really don't want in my life.

I would like to just block the number, but feel a bit bad for my dad who clearly is the one who informs these assholes about my degrees. Because he too is that shallow. But I also don't want to "cause trouble" which is how my existance has always been framed in this family, as the black sheep or whatever. I really am not going to open myself up to ankwardly talking to an entitled privileged old fuck who thinks the world is his oyster and "why wouldn't someone want to talk to me, I'm such a likable guy". /s

It feels a bit unserious to be this anxious and distressed about this, but if feels like getting cornered and forced to participate in something I want no part in. If I block the number, I am probably going to have to explain why to other relatives. But who is so tone deaf that they would just call someone who they have had zero contact with in like a decade anyway? And tbh it isn't like I have ever been in phone call terms with these people in all my life. This is also kind of ruining the little joy I had for getting the degree.