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Thanks for just not shouting me down about how I don't want it badly enough or whatever. I'm not a tech idiot exactly, I have my own home storage server, I can do simple stuff like that, but a lot of people are just unable to admit how difficult it actually can be to completely wean off the big tech companies.
Yeah, it can be easy to forget we don't all have the same tech skill nor same amount of time to dedicate to honing it. On the desktop, I moved to the easiest Linux distro for me...on the phone I tried Graphene and Lineage, and giving each a day to try to make work for my use-case, neither did, so I reluctantly went back to Android. I intend to try again, but in the meantime, I've decided using Android, not logged into a Google account, and not using any Google apps inside it is my equilibrium between my desire to de-Google and the amount of time and effort I can currently put in.