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(CW: generally just uncomfortable topic) my sister is about to have a baby and I'm struggling with being supportive. (hexbear.net)

submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by TUMBLE_BUS@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net

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My sister is pregnant and part of me is excited to be an uncle but part of me is also kind of scared.

I'm not a full blown anti-natalist or anything, but part of me feels it's a bit irresponsible to bring a kids into the world right now. And outside of that larger existential fear I also have some personal ones.

Me and my sis had a kinda rough childhood. Our parents weren't directly abusive but they had a really dysfunctional relationship that made growing up in the same house as them really stressful. The result is I'm kinda of jaded about relationships and have personally sworn off the idea of having a family, but my sister wants to. And I want to be supportive but I'm afraid of her repeating the same mistakes. Her and her husband haven't been together that long and while he seems like a good guy overall I question how compatible they are. And I already see the stress of being pregnant taking a toll on their relationship and am worried a baby is just gonna make it worse and they'll end up just like our parents, angry, resentful, and unconsciously taking it out on their kids.

Again, I love her, I want to support her family, I even like the idea of being a cool communist uncle, but I guess part of me is scared she's gonna repeat our parents mistakes. But I don't feel like I can be honest about that without really hurting her feelings.

Idk, just venting.

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[–] CrawlMarks@hexbear.net 4 points 2 days ago

Nah, she probably has the same feelings. Best just to say it. like, be nice and have a conversation about it. Say somethibg like, "you know how you are having a kid? I am afraid that when I have a kid I will perpetuate the negative things we absorbed and that the world is a bad place to bring kids into. How did you get through these feelings?"