this post was submitted on 14 Sep 2026
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Asklemmy
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It's the endless doom.
Whether you're doomscrolling here or getting your "news" from Facebook and Fox "News", all we get in our feeds is doom. Doom sells. Different doom for different folks.
I make my living off the evening news.
Just give me something, something I can use:
People love it when you lose, they love dirty laundry...
Well, I could've been an actor, but I wound up here; I just have to look good, I don't have to be clear.
Come and whisper in my ear, give us dirty laundry!
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down!
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down!
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em when they're down!
Kick 'em when they're up, kick 'em all around...
We got the bubble-headed bleached-blonde, comes on at 5; She can tell you 'bout the plane crash with a gleam in her eye.
It's interesting when people die, give us dirty laundry!
Can we film the operation? Is the head dead yet?
You know, the boys in the newsroom got a running bet!
"Get the widow on the set," we need dirty laundry...
You don't really need to find out what's goin' on.
You don't really wanna know just how far it's gone.
Just leave well enough alone, keep your dirty laundry...
Dirty little secrets, dirty little lies...
We got our dirty little fingers in everybody's pie.
We love to cut you down to size, we love dirty laundry!
We can do "The Innuendo," we can dance and sing; When it's said and done, we haven't told you a thing!
We all know that crap is king, give us dirty laundry.
-Don Henley, Dirty Laundry