this post was submitted on 04 Sep 2026
433 points (97.0% liked)

Greentext

8709 readers
455 users here now

This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
 
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] panda_abyss@lemmy.ca 186 points 3 days ago (3 children)

I can’t tell if this is real, but I can’t fathom how you could make it up

[–] BodilessGaze@sh.itjust.works 84 points 3 days ago

"it must be true because, if it were not true, no one would have had the imagination to invent it” - fancy math man

[–] DrunkenDuckling@lemmus.org 57 points 2 days ago (4 children)

"Creepy landscape boy" feels made up. Children are way more imaginative, especially when it comes to derogatory nicknames.

No "Horny Hill Henry", "Masturbatin' mountain mike", "Lickin' Lakes Liam", ....?

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 1 points 14 minutes ago

Something about this story reads German to me, which might affect the chosen insult and its translation

[–] Leviathan@fedinsfw.app 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Sounds like a thing girls would come up with, tbh.

My highschool girlfriend used to call a guy "the creeper".

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I dated a guy in college whom I (affectionately) referred to as “the caveman,” because he had a really prominent brow. My (unaffectionate) nickname in high school was “sleepy,” because I fell asleep in class once, and that was made up by boys.

I think most nicknames are a little unimaginative.

[–] Leviathan@fedinsfw.app 4 points 2 days ago

Kids aren't reinventing the wheel.

[–] cosmos8188@leminal.space 9 points 2 days ago

Yeah, and teenagers have even more derogatory imagination than children. Really depends on the grade.

[–] Ariselas@piefed.ca 4 points 2 days ago

Maybe he'll pursue a career in manscaping

[–] Waterpumpee@lemmus.org 19 points 2 days ago (2 children)

One thing i can vouch for. During HS in early 2000's, girls would wear thongs and low waist jeans exposing their junk when leaning forward. Sounds good on paper but when youre not rly interested in them and forced to see it its meh.

[–] Hardeehar@lemmy.world 17 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (1 children)

There were two young English teachers who came in my senior year who wore whale tails almost every day of the week. They were the source of many controversial arguments. Regardless, I overheard that they matched on a bonus at the end of the year because their courses had the best attendance record.

[–] TheBrideWoreCrimson@sopuli.xyz 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Whale tails? Nice. We called underpants sticking out from pants "filter bags."

[–] degen@midwest.social 7 points 2 days ago

Whale tale is specific to thongs, so not much bag to filter. More like a shit splitter

[–] Malica@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 days ago (2 children)

How are you forced to see it? Just don't look at it?

[–] Hardeehar@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago (1 children)

If it's a teenager ... don't look at it was just about as effective as the D.A.R.E. just say no line.

[–] Malica@lemmy.zip 3 points 2 days ago
[–] Waterpumpee@lemmus.org 1 points 1 day ago

Wow exhibitionism solved.