This rant is unproductive, incorrect, and wildly exaggerated.

They’re hellishly expensive cars.

No. Welcome to the new price of cars.

They harvest data, and if you opt out your car may become useless.

Opted out. Car still usable.

They exaggerate the car statistics, like driving range.

Edmunds found they aren't that far off, especially seeing that the range estimates are all over the place.

The build quality is frequently poor, with visible panel gaps (that cheap-arse Dacias don’t even have)

Sure, I'll give this one to you. While it's a no-fuss operation to get them to fix it, it shouldn't come out the factory.

rear bumpers that fall off due to rainfall,

Isolated.

they are prone to rust,

When?

and the FSD despite clearly not being “fully self driving” or even road safe is available as an extra subscription,

What other ADAS software have you used?

that people actively pay for and make use of making the roads less safe.

If the vehicle gives 2-3 warning messages before engaging it and consistently reminds the driver to pay attention, there's not much more the car can do here if a driver wants to screw off.

That’s just the tip of the iceberg as well. Like how replacing the battery costs as much as buying a new car.

Which EV has a cheap battery replacement? Teslas are down to about $12-15k, which in 2023, is cheaper than a new car.

Or the fact that the already shitty battery life gets even worse when it gets cold, leading to people getting stuck on the motorway in the winter, forcing them to get a taxi and abandon their car.

All EV batteries lose range in the winter. Most manufacturers have a feature to pre-warm the battery to reduce the effects of this. Nobody's leaving their cars on the motorway either.

Perhaps Tesla started off well back in the late 00s, but Musk’s been doing nothing but bullshit since the moment he got his grubby little hands on the thing.

Tesla wasn't shipping a car until his money became involved.

There are awful stories coming from the factories involving racism, frequent injuries (the factory in Germany is laughable, and it’s shocking it hasn’t been shut down),

I don't know enough about German manufacturing to comment, but I'd be interested in learning more about factory accident rates of Tesla vs. other carmakers.

and really worrying things have been said even about the software its running on.

Like what?

Then there’s all the weird-ass design decisions,

So personal preferences.

like replacing the steering wheel with a yoke, without adding servo steering meaning it’s just a malshaped steering wheel.

And this was reverted to a wheel by default now on the S/X, which were the only two vehicles having this as an option.

They’ve also paved the way for bullshit capacitive touch areas rather than buttons,

... have you seen other vehicles? Mercedes and Volkswagen (though, now backing off) is going down this route

and tacked actual important functions like turn signals on them.

Personal preference.

If you accidentally caress the fart button and make the bloody thing do lmao memez hilariouz farting, no one gets injured. Miscommunicating your intention in traffic could lead to deaths.

Can you show where this dedicated fart button is?

It's a decent enough company owned by a sack of shit, and the cars are pretty good.