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I suppose most folks would consider my breaking point to be unwarranted.
0000
About four or so years back, a parent fell over. They are heavyset, requiring firemen to be lifted off the floor. They were nude, so I asked the fire department to send same-gender fighters, if that can be reasonably done. My parent threatened to have me thrown out of the household, out of embarrassment.
While that ultimately didn't happen, it was a great breach of trust for me. I don't have enough of an income to survive without a home, and quite frankly, I will take my life if I can't enjoy it. Far as I am concerned, the threat of homelessness and poverty, isn't much different than having a gun to my head.
I realized that this parent, like the other one, didn't love me. The affection I held for them was fading over the years, but this is what broke the chain for me. I don't love them anymore - they are like a rock or any random thing. They just exist. I won't hurt them, but I also stopped going the extra mile. I ceased patrolling to check on their health, nor did I try to cook real meals or ask if I should fetch restaurant food for them. I simply made TV dinners at the appropriate times, and didn't speak to my parent anymore.
My relationship was simply one of going through the motions.
Point clarification: the firefighters ended up not being necessary?
And yes, like training an LLM, you've taken in negative feedback to not do this, not do that, maybe some positive feedback along the way on how to do something right, and when things really mattered and someone was in danger, you engaged the LLM part of your brain to think two steps ahead...and it gets thrown back in your face.
Your breaking point is completely warranted, because you hit a point where you realized that no amount of messing with internal weights and trying to guess what they want would ever work, so why bother stressing over it anymore?
The firefighters were necessary, and falls of this nature kept happening at an increasing pace. That parent, simply isn't able to walk safely anymore - and they have a stubborn streak of not asking people to help them. This residence I am in, also has many hoarded items of that parent, that are not allowed to be thrown away.
Fortunately, they are now in a elderly care facility.
Congratulations on getting almost all the way out. It sounds like the hoarded items thing will come up at some point, but you knew that.
Your reaction is a lot like that of people who've been parentified when they were younger (forced to take care of younger siblings). There's a similar reaction out of the parents when the child doesn't carry out the portion of The Plan devised for them.
There's more honesty in a parent/child relationship where the parents tell the children they're out the door on their 18th birthday so the children have time to plan. At least that way the children know for sure where they stand.
Sad to hear in several ways, sorry for the situatuon.
Apologize this might be a rude question but how did your parent make thier livehood while being in that condition?
Savings. Helped run a business, until they divorced from the owner, about 15ish or so years ago.