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How do you stop caring what people think? (hexbear.net)

submitted 3 weeks ago by DisabledAceSocialist@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net

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Now that I’m able to go back out a bit, I feel really embarrassed because I look rough as hell. My hair is falling out, I’ve got bad oedema so I’m swollen and puffy, my skin is destroyed, all red and covered in eczema and various infections. Yesterday in the supermarket I got mistaken for a man, and it’s not even the first time it has happened. A little kid was blocking my path and her mum said, “Mind out of the way, a man is trying to get past.” I’ve had a shop attendant previously say “here you go, sir,” when handing me my item. I’ve had random strangers loudly make fun of the way I walk (I have problems walking since having a stroke) and an older couple even laughed and made fun of me after one of my foot surgeries because I was wearing plastic shoe cover bags on my feet instead of shoes.

I just feel so embarrassed going out at all but I hate being stuck indoors.

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[–] AntifaSuperWombat@hexbear.net 7 points 3 weeks ago (1 children)

One thing you could do if there's other people around is just loudly call them out on it. Make sure that everyone knows what they're doing. And do it in a way where they can't possibly weasel their way out of, like "What is wrong with you saying such a disgusting thing to a disabled person?". Usually they will get embarrassed when everyone suddenly stares at them and hurry away.

Of course that doesn't work with transphobia that well, because it's too socially acceptable to be cruel to us, but at least the ableism can be handled that way. You also have to watch out for hyper-aggressive shitheads though, as there's a high chance of them attacking you, especially men in groups

[–] DisabledAceSocialist@hexbear.net 3 points 2 weeks ago (1 children)

I actually once did answer back to a group of teenage boys, and got beaten around the head with a lead pipe, so no, I won't confront anyone again.

[–] AntifaSuperWombat@hexbear.net 2 points 2 weeks ago

Ouchie. Yeah, "men in groups" include those too