this post was submitted on 11 Aug 2026
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Prompted by an Iranian assassination threat, Donald Trump departed on a secret military flight in an extraordinary ruse that involved hiding the president in an airport catering cart, according to reporting from the Washington Post and the New York Times.

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[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 24 points 3 days ago (2 children)

No matter how batshit insane whatever my imagination can conjure up is, I can guarantee it'll be a lot worse.

[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)

i miss not being surprised by much.

we'll probably find out he had a private mcdonalds installed at the white house that gets its "beef" from an unethical mortician.

so like that's about how extreme of the batshittery i'm expecting is.

edit: wait this explains Kennedy

[–] schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

The United States finally has an answer to Stalin.

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Stalin was both effective and relatively efficient. This dumbass is neither. More like whatever the knockoff of a Temu Stalin would be.

And to clarify, yes, I'm saying that even Temu is too high quality to be carrying anything Trump branded.

[–] schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Efficient? I think Stalin probably could have managed with killing many fewer people.

[–] gwl@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 3 days ago

He did it efficiently though