this post was submitted on 11 Aug 2026
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Prompted by an Iranian assassination threat, Donald Trump departed on a secret military flight in an extraordinary ruse that involved hiding the president in an airport catering cart, according to reporting from the Washington Post and the New York Times.

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[–] joe@lemmy.world 50 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Meaning the staff and reporters on the other plane were being used as decoys without their knowledge or consent.

That's pretty fucked up.

[–] VitoRobles@lemmy.today 3 points 4 days ago (1 children)

I bet that's what all those civilians were saying when Americans killed 100+ people while kidnapping the president of Venezuela.

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[–] huppakee@lemmy.world 48 points 5 days ago (1 children)

He wanted to open the straight of hummus.

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago

The reflecting pool is still "the strait of warm ooze"

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 33 points 5 days ago (4 children)

There's never going to an end to the documentaries made about this presidency, is there?

[–] inari@piefed.zip 28 points 5 days ago (4 children)

Can you imagine the kind of shit that will be made public 5 or 10 years after he leaves the presidency?

[–] Almacca@aussie.zone 24 points 5 days ago (2 children)

No matter how batshit insane whatever my imagination can conjure up is, I can guarantee it'll be a lot worse.

[–] schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works 6 points 5 days ago (1 children)

The United States finally has an answer to Stalin.

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Stalin was both effective and relatively efficient. This dumbass is neither. More like whatever the knockoff of a Temu Stalin would be.

And to clarify, yes, I'm saying that even Temu is too high quality to be carrying anything Trump branded.

[–] schipelblorp@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

Efficient? I think Stalin probably could have managed with killing many fewer people.

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[–] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

i miss not being surprised by much.

we'll probably find out he had a private mcdonalds installed at the white house that gets its "beef" from an unethical mortician.

so like that's about how extreme of the batshittery i'm expecting is.

edit: wait this explains Kennedy

[–] mPony@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago

honestly I'm imagining the shit that just never will.

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[–] docandersonn@literature.cafe 16 points 5 days ago

The History Channel basically lived off of Hitler documentaries for 2 decades.

[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

Honestly, with the way things are going in this nation, we're probably going to be too worried about a myriad of other things to give a shit about this rapist's documentaries.

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[–] finallymadeanaccount@lemmy.world 25 points 5 days ago (1 children)

"Damn! Why does this food cart smell like shit?"

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[–] muusemuuse@sh.itjust.works 21 points 5 days ago

Elaborate ruse Is a bit dramatic here. This has all the complexity of a bugs bunny sketch.

[–] adarza@lemmy.ca 25 points 5 days ago (1 children)

what they let 'em out for?

[–] Tolookah@discuss.tchncs.de 6 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

eating the product

Edit: there's a much better joke about giving it the Taylor farms treatment that I didn't think about quick enough

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 5 days ago (3 children)

It is since referred to by staff as the shit cart

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[–] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Hahaha.

I hope he loves in fear. He did all of that. He ruined the fucking nuclear treaty, he invaded when that went to shit, and now he's losing a war.

What a fucking goddamn dumbass. I hope he never rests well again.

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[–] moondoggie@lemmy.world 19 points 5 days ago

“Ummm yeah, right. We hid him in the catering cart. He totally didn’t get stuck in there when he thought he saw loose McDonald’s fries on the floor of the cart.”

[–] WhiskyTangoFoxtrot@lemmy.world 14 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Wouldn't someone have noticed the smell?

[–] ClownStatue@piefed.social 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Or the obnoxiously large “catering cart?” A normal one couldn’t possibly hide his giant ass.

[–] yogurt@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago

They have a scissor lift box truck that the food comes in and then they lift it up to the plane and wheel the carts off. They got JFK's dead body on air force one the same way.

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[–] daychilde@lemmy.world 9 points 4 days ago

Why the hell would they reveal this? Seems like a terrible idea. Secret Service never reveals details about things like that. Or at least, they shouldn't.

[–] pirate2377@lemmy.zip 8 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Is it bad that even though I'm an American and not exactly a full on Iranian supporter...but wouldn't mind if they successfully assassinated Trump and Vance at all? It would at least be karma for starting this bullshit war in the first place

[–] thermal_shock@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

Nope. I'm with you. Almost feels treasonous to wish our president harm/death, but fuck him and his family.

[–] DarkFuture@lemmy.world 12 points 5 days ago (2 children)

Sorry. No way Fatty McRapist is getting into a catering cart. Maybe the back of a catering van. Assuming you bleach it before putting food back in it.

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[–] Jubei_K_08@lemmy.world 14 points 5 days ago (2 children)

I hope there's a VEEP/Arrested Development like show about this cartoonish presidency in a couple years. There's so much material.

[–] dreadbeef@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 5 days ago

Veep is severely underrated imo.

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[–] SayJess@lemmy.blahaj.zone 13 points 5 days ago (2 children)

What a coward! 😂😂😂😂

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[–] potatopotato@sh.itjust.works 17 points 5 days ago (1 children)

I've seen how some of this shit works. They're not magically smarter than you. People in these kinds of positions sometimes just do shit because they think it sounds cool and they're bored.

[–] AwesomeLowlander@quokk.au 9 points 5 days ago

They're not magically smarter than you

It's trump, I think we can take that as a given.

[–] Coleslaw4145@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago (1 children)

"Look, people are asking me about aircraft catering carts. And I tell them, nobody knows catering carts better than me, okay? Nobody!

​These carts, they are incredible. Absolutely top of the line.

People come up to me, big flight attendants, strong people, with tears in their eyes, they say, 'Sir, we put hundreds of sodas in there, the little cans, the snacks, everything, and it still moves so light. Nobody else could design a cart like this'."

  • Trump probably
[–] Bongles@lemmy.zip 4 points 4 days ago (1 children)

What's.. funny I guess, is that he doesn't even really talk like that anymore, because he barely makes it through a sentence now

[–] Frenchgeek@lemmy.ml 2 points 4 days ago

Maybe he should try a prison one.

[–] Jankatarch@lemmy.world 9 points 5 days ago (3 children)

Didn't he survive 2 assasination attempts before without worry, what's the difference with a mere threat?

[–] meathorse@lemmy.world 11 points 5 days ago

This threat was real and not a false flag?

[–] BeardededSquidward@lemmy.blahaj.zone 5 points 4 days ago (1 children)

This one would be done by someone semi-competent and explosives likely over an idiot reactionary with a gun.

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[–] Jimbo@pawb.social 14 points 5 days ago (1 children)

"extraordinary ruse" is certainly a phrase for this

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[–] D_C@sh.itjust.works 12 points 5 days ago (1 children)

It must've been a huge cart to fit that blubber filled tub of syphilis.

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[–] i_stole_ur_taco@lemmy.ca 11 points 5 days ago

An amazing disguise. The smell didn’t give ANYTHING away.

[–] Etterra@discuss.online 6 points 5 days ago

Are they sure he was hiding in there? Maybe he just went in there to eat in private and just so happened to get wheeled on board the plane. I could see him stuffing himself inside one of those things just so we can nosh on some shrimp away from all the judgy eyes.

[–] aarch0x40@piefed.social 9 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Certainly he didn’t fit in just one cart

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[–] Kintarian@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

Would have been a shame if they forgot he was in there

[–] wonderingwanderer@sopuli.xyz 6 points 5 days ago

I wonder if he shat himself while they folded him up to fit him in there. I'm surprised he was flexible enough.

[–] OrteilGenou@lemmy.world 4 points 5 days ago

He'll never fit in there, it's full of cheeseburgers...

[–] mPony@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago

So someone on his team recently watched the TV miniseries "Thief" (starring Andre Braugher, RIP) and figured they'd give it a try.

These fuckers have no imagination. First they rip off season 2 of Jack Ryan, and now this.

[–] IndustryStandard@lemmy.world 3 points 5 days ago
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