this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2026
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Mental Health

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I've been having a sort of "midlife crisis" and I don't know where to go from here. I don't know what I want in life. Would appreciate some perspective/advice. (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by dingus@lemmy.world to c/mentalhealth@lemmy.world
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I'm in my early 30s, so not necessarily "mid-life", but I think what I have been experiencing can be described this way. I went through a lot this past year, and it has both left some large scars as well as healed some other aspects and caused new ways of thinking in others. I've tried new things and enjoyed the things that I've tried.

But I feel like I need something "more", but I have no idea what that is. I keep getting caught on the horrifying realization of life being fleeting and I want to do something to make it more whole. But I can't outrun death so I don't know that anything is left to be done. But I feel like I need something to fill that space. I may in fact be chasing something that doesn't exist idk.

I guess I just feel a bit lost and would appreciate some direction.

More about me that may or may not influence your advice: I've always been a loner and the sort of "terminally online" type. I don't experience sexual attraction, so it sort of puts most options of relationships out the window. Asexual "dating" is not as prevalent or simple as you'd think. My career is very solid and I'm paid very well, so I'm not interested in switching careers. My career was a huge source of my trauma this past year, but I have made a lot of progress since and it's really not something I can easily change. I have discovered new and healthier forms of self-expression and have done new things. I own where I live and would not be able to sell it for as much as I paid for it either, which is another reason I'd be against moving. I am physically close-ish to family and visit every couple of weeks.

Thanks all for listening.

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[–] aceshigh@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

I hear you. My midlife crisis started in my early/mid 30s and lasted into my 40s. Yay… you need to identify the missing piece. This is a personal journey so I can’t tell you what to do or try. It’ll take a lot of trial and error on your part but eventually something will click.

My answer was looking into my childhood and fixing the life long problems it created, doing grief work on childhood, finding a support group and becoming an active member, soon I’ll be getting a counselor or mentor, identifying my values and goals and actualizing them.

But this was my journey and yours will look totally different. I tried a lot of conventional stuff that didn’t work for me - created a large friend group, tried a lot of new activities, started new hobbies, become a regular at several places, traveled all over, volunteered, tried therapy, did stuff that I missed out in my 20s (looking like a 25 year old but with a brain of a 30++ year old was awesome) - but none of these were my answer. I needed to go deeper, I needed to leave surface level stuff.