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this post was submitted on 01 Aug 2026
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Someone is downvoting everything but I agree. I try and keep my helicopter parent impulses under control, but it is nice to know exactly where my kids are. My son (12) has a locked down old iPhone and Apple makes it pretty easy to make it practically a dumb phone. We literally have it set up so that he has to ask for permission before using any apps, with the exception of calling and messaging. (Even messaging is iffy; we want to be able to text him but it opens up texting with friends.) He doesn’t need it at school so he doesn’t bring it, but as he gets older, I’m sure it’ll start to go with him and I’m not upset about it. If he wants to go somewhere with a friend right after school instead of going straight home, it’s fine with me as long as I know about it. Without a phone, it’d be hard for him to make such plans on the fly, and let’s just say that planning ahead isn’t my ADHD-kid’s strong suit (yet—we’re working on it). As long as the expectation is set that he doesn’t use it during school, I think that’s okay; it can just live in his backpack until school is over.
What's wrong with a 12 year old texting their friends? I had unfettered internet access by then and I turned out fine.
Good question, if you've turned out already you did not grow up with the intense constant social media environment. I haven't seen anyone mention kids filming each other in school with the associated prank culture and social judgements. Remove that from the learning environment.
Texting is not the problem, it's addictive apps and the fact that they are filming and posting each others childhoods. I'm too old to understand how that can be made right.
I actually have hope gen z and gen alpha will have constructive ideas how to moderate these forces while retaining what is beneficial, like connection to friends (texting).
Oh, nothing inherently wrong, but we’ve already had a couple of incidents of bad behavior. My kid got mad about something and sent some angry messages to a group chat that included racial slurs. It was a big learning experience to say the least (for all of us). Since then they’ve learned to unsend their messages, it seems, so while I can say my kiddo learned something, I have to hope that he also learned the things I needed him to learn. Being a parent is so much fun!
Kids used to go outside and shout racial slurs at the park, damn kids just texting them these days
Indeed - three top level posts got downvotes from the same two accounts (with the second likely being an alt) within a minute.