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I absolutely understand what you mean. Saying positive stuff to yourself doesn't work when you hate yourself. It feels gross.
The affirmation that finally clicked with me was "you are a human being".
It doesn't imply anything fake positive about yourself. And it's a factual statement that cannot be argued, not an opinion.
But think about what it implies. A human being literally cannot be perfect. You are not a robot. That is the very nature of being human. I used to tell myself "you should know better" or "you should do better" frequently. Because I'm me and I know right from wrong and so I hated myself for not meeting said expectations.
But those expectations were not realistic. Because I'm not a robot. You're not a robot. We are human beings. Human beings by definition cannot be perfect, even tho some appear like they may be. And that is ok. You still deserve love and compassion. You deserve it because you are a flawed human being.
I find that I don't need to say it to myself much anymore nowadays, but I truly think it did help me to heal.