this post was submitted on 09 Jul 2026
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Thank you. We do have fans at least. I've got a mutual aid post going for an oven repair right now, no responses yet. I often fantasise about the ruling class getting the French or Russian treatment. Those people even haunt my dreams. I've had a dream about Rachel Reeves screaming at me and one about Boris Johnson telling me to get off benefits and back into work.
That is good, the fans I mean.
Solidarity with the dreams. I've not had the actual ghouls manifest in my dreams, but did have nightmares about the letters I got from my local national insurance that tried its hardest to make me and my tiny family homeless when we were poorer, for many years straight. It's exhausting and so stressful.
It's become clear to me that life is designed to be exhausting and stressful. We aren't even meant to enjoy it, it's just an endurance challenge.
I really hope that a day comes when you no longer have to feel like this.
It won't, it's only going to get worse. The doctors say i'm at high risk of having another, worse, stroke. They cut my medication down to try and make it less likely but this means there's now a higher chance of the cancer coming back. Although mutual aid keeps my hunger pangs away i am very slowly dying of malnutrition as my cancer treatment has given me so many food intolerances and allergies, there are just a few things i can eat without becoming violently ill. Can't even tolerate supplements any more. The NHS dietician says there is nothing that can be done about it. And I'll always be struggling to keep my disability benefits. I'll always have the stress and anxiety of having to beg for help on mutual aid. There is no hope of anything except death one day.
I'm so sorry.