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first rule of ~~gambling~~ trading is to not risk $ you can't stand to lose, don't know how much capital you got in the game/what type of trading you partake in...but if it's stressing you out then there is clearly something wrong with your risk management side of things
red days shouldnt matter at all, either it's a buying oppurtunity on a longer swing/longterm pos you've done proper DD on or it's short-term gamble you should have a stop-loss set for incase your wrong about the setup.
either way there should be zero emotion involved....as for the rest of your post, overall to me it sounds like your dopamine receptors are fried from constant gambling (going through something similar myself actually, biotech is like the blacktar heroin of this industry...with how insane the returns are on a W it's hard to keep emotions in check)
to quote Livermore...
the entire point to figuring the casino out is to free yourself up from needing to work a job, obviously watching/worrying about charts all day isnt fulfilling. volunteer your time to something impactful locally, work on a passion project etc. live life, if you've figured out a (backtested) edge to the market you have beaten the first fucked up level that is capitilism