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I appreciate this topic being discussed. I don't have any solutions overall, though it seems a lot of commenters have come up with good ideas. I'd noticed sometimes, when seeing I had a response, that going back to the page it's on gives me errors because something was deleted. I agree, it's irritating at best, conversation-ending at worst.
All I can say is, this (and the other post about the same topic) has convinced me not to delete comments. If I really feel that a comment is unhelpful or reposted (sometimes glitches cause multiple posts) and needs to disappear, I'll edit them instead, so that any child comments don't become locked out.
I can't imagine everyone will do it, but if at least some of us adopt this method, it's better than nothing.