Transfem

Microbiome experiments seem to be going great! I don't feel I have that much left to figure out or problem-solve on that front. I even figured out how to make a dilation lube that functions as a prebiotic gel by replacing store-bought aloe gel (which has preservatives) with home-made flax gel, which is less structured than xanthan gum and prevents the lube from creating too much of a "suction" effect when I dilate.

I would say dilation is a lot of work, and they sorta pushed me back into working full-time around that 3 months point, sooner than I was really ready - so I would have a plan for that. Part of that is because my dilation sessions took so long due to pain and slowly having to work up to the largest dilator. Under those conditions, dilating three times a day was not really compatible even with the amount of house work & self-care work I wanted to do (i.e. feeding myself 3 meals a day, showering once a day, cooking meals, cleaning up from those meals, doing laundry, etc.), let alone working full-time on top of that.

So, if at all possible, I would have someone else able to do the housework for you (and able to feed you, help you, etc.) - this is not a surgery you can do alone, you need help. And ideally, you are able to pause from work for longer than the minimal disability leave some employers offer - I think waiting until I was just dilating twice a day would have been ideal.

That said, there is only so much we can do - so, at some point you are just rolling with the punches.

I do wish I had advocated more strongly for myself during the one week of strict bed rest in the hospital - I needed to avoid sitting up at too much of an angle, that may have helped me avoid the wound separation. Likewise with using a bedpan, the nurses always sat me up at 90 degrees to use a bedpan, and I wish I hadn't just assumed they knew what was best for me, and instead found a way that avoided putting pressure on that area.

Self-advocacy is really hard in a hospital, it was so much harder than I expected.

Hopefully there are some people who've been through the surgery who can be a resource for you.

I would also make sure to have a trauma psychologist lined up for after your hospital stay, surgeries often create situations that can be psychologically challenging and it's worth having that extra support.

here is a long post about things I wish I knew about surgery before my surgery: https://lem.lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/27942310

and a post on the specific challenges I faced and how I dealt with them: https://lem.lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/27942310

hopefully those are helpful too!