Transfem
A community for transfeminine people and experiences.
This is a supportive community for all transfeminine or questioning people. Anyone is welcome to participate in this community but disrupting the safety of this space for trans feminine people is unacceptable and will result in moderator action.
Debate surrounding transgender rights or acceptance will result in an immediate ban.
- Please follow the rules of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance.
- Bigotry of any kind will not be tolerated.
- Gatekeeping will not be tolerated.
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This community is supportive of DIY HRT. Unsolicited medical advice or caution being given to people on DIY will result in moderator action.
Posters may express that they are looking for responses and support from groups with certain experiences (eg. trans people, trans people with supportive parents, trans parents.). Please respect those requests and be mindful that your experience may differ from others here.
Some helpful links:
- The Gender Dysphoria Bible // In depth explanation of the different types of gender dysphoria.
- Trans Voice Help // A community here on blahaj.zone for voice training.
- LGBTQ+ Healthcare Directory // A directory of LGBTQ+ accepting Healthcare providers.
- Trans Resistance Network // A US-based mutual aid organization to help trans people facing state violence and legal discrimination.
- TLDEF's Trans Health Project // Advice about insurance claims for gender affirming healthcare and procedures.
- TransLifeLine's ID change Library // A comprehensive guide to changing your name on any US legal document.
- Rainbow Railroad // A non-profit international humans rights organization helping at risk LGBTQ+ people relocate to safety.
Support Hotlines:
- The Trevor Project // Web chat, phone call, and text message LGBTQ+ support hotline.
- TransLifeLine // A US/Canada LGBTQ+ phone support hotline service. The US line has Spanish support.
- LGBT Youthline.ca // A Canadian LGBT hotline support service with phone call and web chat support. (4pm - 9:30pm EST)
- 988lifeline // A US only Crisis hotline with phone call, text and web chat support. Dedicated staff for LGBTQIA+ youth 24/7 on phone service, 3pm to 2am EST for text and web chat.
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Welcome back! I missed seeing you around here. I hope you're doing well despite all the insanity.
The more I read about vaginoplasty, it seems like a lot of work and maintainance to live with one. Depthless surgeries sound easier from my reading.
You mentioned penetrative sex in some of your other comments in this thread. Was that something you knew you would be interested in before the surgery?
Are there other benefits to having a vagina over a vulva alone that I should be aware of when considering a potential future surgery? Thanks!
aw, thank you - it's nice to see you around too 🫶 I'm definitely doing well all things considered, just a time of high stress, but I'm mostly on the other side of a lot of the worst parts.
yes, I almost went with a vulvoplasty, but what convinced me to get the full canal was a repeated pattern going back to childhood of a desire to be penetrated in sex, so - it was just something I realized was important to me, and would be a part of my desired sexual function, and since that was true I didn't want to take that off the table with a vulvoplasty (despite the fact that a vulvoplasty has lower risks, easier recovery, and doesn't involve dilation). It was watching a youtube video in which a sexologist weighed in on advising going with a vaginoplasty over a vulvoplasty because as a sexologist they believed it was important to preserve sexual function - and even if at the time I wasn't sure if I were asexual (and certainly believed my desire to be penetrated in sex was a small, unimportant desire compared to the concrete and real pragmatic benefits of a vulvoplasty), I ultimately heeded that concern as a kind of compassion to a future self whose life I could not predict.
I'm quite glad I chose a vaginoplasty, and would suggest anyone who is sexually active and wants a vagina to opt for the full canal, as there are many cases of women who opt for a vulvoplasty and then require a second surgery later to get the canal when they realize (too late) that penetration is important to them. If you're entirely asexual (and it's not just dysphoria), that's a case where I see a safer argument for a vulvoplasty, and I do know an asexual trans woman IRL who had a vulvoplasty and years later is happy with it.
The same day I had my vaginoplasty, a friend of mine in the community also was getting a vulvoplasty, and she was scheduled for a vaginoplasty at first and changed her mind last second with the thought that she would come back later for the full vaginoplasty. I believe the surgeon ended up leaving the hospital before she was able to get the full vaginoplasty, and of course she had lost the option for using a scrotal graft in that future vaginoplasty. (I assume she would have to opt for a peritoneal pull-through, which was the other technique that surgeon specialized in.)
personally, I think I might have felt like a less "normal" woman for not having a canal, but not everyone is going to feel that way. I wish I had been born a cis woman, and having a full vagina helps me feel closer to that in unexpected ways. There is a kind of safety and security in feeling closer to "normal" in my genitals, and my dysphoria makes that hard enough.
That said, the pragmatic benefits of a vulvoplasty are pretty great - they have become quite popular; I believe my surgeon said that he performs more vulvoplasties than vaginoplasties now. I completely understand the motivations there, and I almost went that way myself.