this post was submitted on 07 Jun 2026
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most of the time people aren't isolated just because they don't have friends. all the suggestions people have made are cool and all, but you're probably not gonna do them. the question you need to ask yourself is why? why do you not do them? it's hard to think about this stuff clearly and objectively, that's why most people get help from therapists. but no matter if you get outside help or not, it requires serious effort on your part to just think about it, identify your problems and work towards solving them.
most solutions presented here are valid, but they fall into the "i must give specific and actionable advice" trap. to a lonely person (such as myself) they all sound like "throw yourself into unknown, unpredictable and awkward situations", and then "go with the flow" or "practice your social skills it's not inherit you know", whatever the fuck those mean. just be kind but critical towards yourself and if it doesn't work out, forgive yourself and try again.
i do not believe you that 50.1% of therapists are helpful
also, as someone who gave up on asking the internet for advice, specific actionable advice is vastly superior to vague shit and a list of things not to do.
therapy is what you make of it. i do not have any positive experience with therapy and i cannot afford more than my insurance allows, but at the end of the day there's someone at the other side of the table that is trying to help you. i understand the outsized reaction against therapy though, it's an intimate setting, even more so than going to a doctor for your physical health, and if it fails or the other person is bad or malicious, it's natural to feel hostile and be adverse to it. but it genuinely helps people because people say it does, and i have no other argument to convince you otherwise.
specific and actionable advice is better, that's why people try to give one, and why i called it a trap not something else. you cannot give people you know nothing about specific advice. it might help them but it will probably not. it's entirely random, and as someone who has bad a similar experience i can only say that this kind of advice did not help me, and it only made me feel like shit. OP's experience might differ and that's completely fine.
it's not a reaction it's double digits with no positive outcome. therapy is one tool and it's applied inappropriately to systemic problems because of hyperindividualism