this post was submitted on 01 Jun 2026
63 points (98.5% liked)

Asklemmy

54493 readers
503 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

  1. Open-ended question
  2. Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
  3. Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
  4. Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
  5. An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 7 years ago
MODERATORS
 

I genuinely don’t understand how people see social interaction as something beautiful or natural. To me it feels like pure obligation.

Even at work you are not really yourself. You are adjusting how you speak, how you act, and how you respond just to fit the role, satisfy your employer, and keep things smooth with colleagues. That constant switching can be exhausting.

Outside of work it does not feel that different. Conversations, replying, small talk, making plans, it can all feel more like maintenance than real connection.

And yeah, I can agree that most people are not fully themselves in these situations. Everyone is performing to some extent depending on the setting. The difference is some people find it normal while others find it draining.

Sometimes it feels like people are not actually enjoying it as much as they say, they are just used to it being the default way to live.

Maybe I am missing something but I do not see the beautiful part everyone talks about.

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] Shellofbiomatter@lemmus.org 1 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

Noup, 99,99% of the interactions aren't beautiful or magical. Overwhelming majority are different degrees of exhausting navigation on a minefield with no reward.

Yeah, majority of interactions are just obligations. Just running an automatic script curated for that situation or person. Those are draining, but make up the majority of day to day interactions. Aka at work or store. Though thanks to the automation those are kinda low risk.

Then there are the neutral ones, that doesn't drain as much and are under better circumstances or just basic exchange of information. Aka with a family or here. Those are higher risk usually.

And then there are the once in a blue moon aka 0,01% of interactions under good conditions, in limited exposure, good subject, that are kinda good even. Though these are bordering a statistical anomaly and do not make the rule.