Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

Be warned:

Anon is often crazy.
Anon is often depressed.
Anon frequently shares thoughts that are immature, offensive, or incomprehensible.

If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works

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Anon is a paramedic (sh.itjust.works)

submitted 2 months ago by Early_To_Risa@sh.itjust.works to c/greentext@sh.itjust.works

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[–] applebusch@lemmy.blahaj.zone 109 points 2 months ago (4 children)

im not staying alive for their fucking feelings. if they cared that much they could have treated me like a human being when i was a kid. im staying alive for my cats. and yeah it means i love them more than my shitty parents.

[–] Seleni@lemmy.world 55 points 2 months ago

Hey, staying alive to snuggle cats and spite your parents works too.

[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 26 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Me n you both. cept I have my plants lol

[–] Agent641@lemmy.world 25 points 2 months ago (5 children)

FUCK I need to water my plants.

[–] harambe69@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Braided rope. One end in water bucket/tank, other in the planter. Watering is just filling the tank once a month. Great success!

[–] mnemonicmonkeys@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago

I'll have to try that

[–] arrow74@lemmy.zip 12 points 2 months ago

Go ahead and water yourself while you're at it

[–] k0e3@lemmy.ca 4 points 2 months ago

im not staying alive for their fucking feelings. if they cared that much they could have treated me like a plant when i was a aapling. im staying alive for my symbiotic fungi network. and yeah it means i love them more than my shitty owner.

Your plants, probably.

[–] FlowerFan@piefed.blahaj.zone 3 points 2 months ago

FUCK, I should really set an alarm

[–] snoons@lemmy.ca 2 points 2 months ago

So say, we all.

[–] Monte_Crisco@thelemmy.club 4 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

For your cats is an absolutely beautiful purpose and reason we all still need you as long as we can have you. Also, there’s an inevitable piece of news that will make at least 75% of the entire world instantly erupt in celebration. I’ll be very sad if my time comes before that happens.

[–] n7gifmdn@lemmy.ca -2 points 2 months ago (3 children)

Your cats will eat you when you die

[–] poopsmith@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 months ago

We all express love in different ways.

[–] Amnesigenic@lemmy.ml 1 points 2 months ago

Just get a cat door

[–] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 1 points 2 months ago

And? Your dad will bury and/or incinerate you. At least the cats get some use out of you.