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I think the problem is it's become a binary argument where either women are independent or men get to control them...
If those are the only two option, women are fucked.
That's like Martin trying to win without Malcolm.
Those men need to be reminded that the opposite of their views isn't everyone being equal, it's those men having their agency and control removed and treated like someone else property.
Once people understand that, "everyone is equal" sounds a lot more attractive.
Yeah. These men just think otherwise because we have no evidence of a female dominated society to even an extent approaching mildly male dominated societies. What we have evidence of happening in real life is: male dominated societies, societies that strive for gender equality, and mixed power societies (eg women control the home, men control war). Female dominated societies are a porn trope or a rhetorical device for fiction.
Even the real life Amazons (the Scythians) were shockingly egalitarian when we look at them through accounts and evidence that wasn't Greek stories.