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Childhood trauma. Being aware of your surroundings just becomes the default mode.
One learns calmness and how to remain unnoticed when the violence breaks out but isn’t currently directed at you. There’s nothing you can do to stop it, and if you tried you’d be drug into it and lose. I’m a prison volunteer and I’ve seen the exact same thing. Some dude is getting his head stomped and people casually finish their card game or make a cup of coffee before lockdown.
This. It's not a choice or a "neat treat". It's how we've been molded by our environment since childhood. To the detriment of my economy, I often go to cafes not to feel lonely while not having to engage in 1v1 conversation, and I can literally have my face planted onto the dining table, enjoying ambience, and still be aware of what other guests are in my vicinity, sitting in what positions, what impressions they gave me by their looks and by their general tone. Relaxing, but it'll be a cold day in hell before I let anybody hurt me physically or mentally.
Sadly, I second this. Also took 8 years in a 12 year (so far) relationship to learn to drop that guard at times.
Yeah. My answer was PTSD and weed. My PTSD is from childhood trauma.
Did a certain event happen in your childhood? If it was hundreds and hundreds of criticisms every month for decades like I experienced, then that's not PTSD, which is a single, life-changing event, but rather CPTSD (Complex), which is a gradual embedding of continual stress reaction over a long period of time.
Several traumatic events, none of them the same.
Dang. I'm sorry you've had to endure all those!
I've made it this far. I finally got into therapylast year but had to fire my therapist when their shared office started playing Christian music in the waiting room. I told her there's no way any healing is going to happen if I'm being triggered before our sessions.