A Boring Dystopia

it's not any different with jobs. you have to constantly be on the hunt for a new job and working constantly beyond and above to get new skills if you want to remain employable. the day of getting a job and sitting back for 30-40 years and taking it easy are long gone. we live in a hyper competitive society, esp in the major cities. dating is the same, everyone is endlessly trying to 'upgrade' their dating prospects and if you aren't 'improving yourself' constantly you are seen as a loser who deserves to be alone, just like if you don't have multiple degrees or training certs at your job you are considered under performing.

10-15 years ago things were different. now, if i don't get 2-5 new certs each year at my job, I'm considered under performing and if you want a raise, you better be getting that 5, 2 is the bare minimum effort. did i mention that the certs now expire every 2-3 years now? they used to be considered 'lifetime' but they ended that in the late 2010s, so they can keep the gravy train going. in 2010 when i was hired, having 2 basic certs was considered really great, now if you have 2 for a starting job, you are considered a failure and unemployable, you need to have like 6-10 to even be considered. oh ad the starting pay is like 15% more than it was when I started 15 years ago, even though the COL is now 2.5x what it was.

We are all working 3x as hard, for half as much as we used to get. Dating is the same. dating is a job market for romance. in my city, women expect you to typically making 200-300K a year to be even considered 'worth' their consideration. even though statistically, men in my city have an median income of 80K. so you nee to be making triple median to be considered a 'date worthy' guy.

i make about 150K a year, own a place, volunteer, have run my own small business, have two advanced degrees, active hobbies, very fit endurance athlete, etc. and when I go on dates i basically get asked why i am not more successful in life and that I lack ambition and drive and that my life is too 'lazy' because I'm not working 80 hours a week. also get told I'm 'cheap' because I don't like going on dates that cost more than $200. It's insanely brutal dating market. but i really want a family so I keep trying, but every woman who is interested in me basically expects me to be a multi-millionaire who has no life outside of work and dating her.