this post was submitted on 11 May 2026
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[–] yakko@feddit.uk 2 points 2 days ago (2 children)

The part about it being at least partly a limitation of the language I do get, I've been saying for years and years how the dumbing down of spoken language is screwing up society, because thoughts are words, and if you don't have the words you don't have the thoughts. I just didn't appreciate it was so bad in Finnish language.

It would make all the sense in the world if you think you're depressed, but keep in mind that sometimes depression is situational - you might just be surrounded by assholes. I hope it gets easier. I'll remember you in case we cross paths again on here.

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I just didn't appreciate it was so bad in Finnish language.

This isn't a recent thing. It's inherent in the language.

You know, there's a tribe of people, somewhere in Australia iirc, who don't have the word for "left" and "right" in their vocabulary. This means they always use absolute directions. Like "move the painting 3cm south". Because of this, they have an amazing sense of direction, because it's so tied to their language.

In English, one uses very specific pronouns and names a lot of the time. Hell, here's one extreme example of a generalised, but still specific pronoun. https://youtu.be/Ebb272kjmWQ spoiler, it's Ian Mckellen saying how much he loves it when in Manchester, people just call people "love", so casually. You know I can't even say the word "love" in Finnish without being mocked. People in Finnish just don't use the word "rakkaus" as much. It's there, but you'd never use it as much or as casually as in English, like you can't just yell "love you" to someone while running out the door. Hell, I can probably count with one hand the times people have said it to me. I said it last to my grandma, the last words I spoke to her.

It would make all the sense in the world if you think you're depressed, but keep in mind that sometimes depression is situational - you might just be surrounded by assholes

Thank you a lot for saying that. But since I'm unable to travel, it's hard for me to verify. And everyone keeps acting as if I'm the arsehole for asking for basic politeness or acknowledgement of my feelings. I just feel people perhaps get enough of that from their closest friends in Finland, so they're used to not giving it to just occasional friends. But the problem is my mom dragged me from one school to the next when I was growing up so I don't have any of those long term friendships. I did, but some of them also started avoiding me when I didn't hide my opinion that cannabis should be legalised. Genuinely, a couple whom I drove to and from drinking most weekends, watch them fight, waited (with an actual taxi I was driving as my job), herded them, and actually I've even carried out the guy rolled up in a mat with his vomit, like some sort of disgusting kebab-roll where he's the meat and the vomit is the sauce, and **they didn't invite me to their wedding because I'm "a junkie" for smoking weed.

Ugh sorry, traumadumping. But yeah. I'd like to see if it's just the society, but I've never afforded a vacation and don't have friends to go with even if I did

I'll prolly try to save up some cash and do a trip somewhere. Seems like the best choice to see if lifes worth living.

[–] yakko@feddit.uk 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Surrounded by assholes, I'm convinced. The thing is, people are mainly situational and the situation you're in seems too big to fix on your own. In your shoes I'd escape any way I can to wherever I can get to. Spend some time somewhere warm, or at least warm-hearted. If you find a place that feels more accepting, straight up move there. You can do it.

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

That's pretty much exactly what I've been trying to communicate to friends and family, but then it's always just seen as me being a complaining / demanding jerk, so then I just isolate my self a bit more.

It's like I'm drowning and I know how to swim, yeah, but I've been swimming too long and I just need some life saver or something. And it sort of feels like my family is just there on the edge of a pier where I can see, yelling at me to "swim harder", basically. Even when they could very well help. Oh well.

Thank you s thousand times again for the affirmation. Yeah, that's another word that doesn't directly translate to Finnish, lol.

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Oh lol I go off on a tangent don't I. I started talking about the language, then just traumadunped.

Anyway so like Finns use passive voice all the time, it's sort of built in. And no-one really calls each other by their name. And if people use my name it's sort of childishly in third person "oh I wonder if Dasus would want to do x/y" even when it was just a 3 person chat with me and my brothers. So annoying. And we call people "it" all the time. Using the formal "hän" is like for official language (and pets, pets get the respectable form).

But yeah it's hard to convey how much distancing language there is inherently built into Finnish language. And I think that's the problem. Especially because I tend to think in English and have done since I started being more or less fluent like 20 years ago. Nowadays it's practically all English. Also the reason I have an English therapist. (They are accredited psychologists in Finland and fluent in Finnish but we've never spoken Finnisj with them) (and i use the neutral pronoun just because I don't need to specify I don't think. Also Finnish btw doesn't have gendered pronouns or really anything gendered, except in terms of some loan words)