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this post was submitted on 11 Jul 2023
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If I've learnt anything from numerous askreddit posts on the question 'what is the best feeling ever?', it's that the human condition is rather tragic. The best pleasure is basically the relief of discomfort or pain - like taking your bra off at the end of the day or like this one walking into an air conditioned room.
That's why I consider being alive as irrational for a conscious being. Suffering will always outweigh good emotions so we should come to the conclusion that not being alive is beneficial for our wellbeing. Somehow the majority of us decides to rather endure pain than end our existence.
In the darkness that is existence there can still be beacons of light.
Ending one's existence is the end of all of that. No more light, no more dark, just nothing.
I stick around due to those beacons of light in the dark and honestly the more time goes on the more I realize that there's actually quite a lot of light to be had.
Yeah work sucks for 10 hours a day, but that time allows me to enjoy my hobbies.
The pleasure of a newly painted miniature, the bliss of hiking a new trail, the exhilaration of biking further and faster than I did before, finding new places and things to photograph.
Enjoying a nap in the shade of tree on a lightly windy day, watching the river flow by while I forget to cast my line, watching the clouds flit through the sky while laying in the grass.
If you end it all the only thing left behind is the pain for those who knew you. The gap left in their lives caused by your absence.
Sometimes their big gaps: lovers, friends, coworkers. Sometimes their small: the regular who always stops by, the person with the cool hair you see sometimes, the person who you talked to on the bus that day who you still sometimes see. But the gaps are still there.
I've known a lot of people who have taken their own life, the lives of others, and had their lives taken by other people. Those gaps will always be there.
Stick around, look to the outside world, and reach out. There is light in the world if you look for it, don't let the darkness that dominates the social media landscape be all that you see.
Love this.