OK, but do not dogmatize it. Don't rigidly judge the particular circumstance of couples you never met. A couple gets married, both have issues, and both suffer. One consequence is that they have almost no sex, which is terrible to one with libido. Then people pontificate: the side with libido should just live their entire life without sex. And the part who lacks libido should continue to have brutal headaches twice or thrice a week, as she believes "therapy is for the weak". In no event can the husband demand she have therapy. Dogma is everything, material reality is nothing.

It is analogous to conservative priests. Someone tells him: lifelong marriage is beautiful, but what about women who are physically abused by their husband? The priest pontificates: she must take the children to her parent's house, then raise them without a father, and she must live without a husband for her entire life. In no event can we tolerate she have a second union, because dogma is dogma.

[–] orc_princess@lemmy.ml 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Masturbation is inferior in every respect. Is has zero affection, it is less pleasing, less fun, less everything.

It's less coercive than expecting sex from another person who clearly doesn't want to have sex. If the main issue with your frustration is physical then this is the most straightforward solution. If it's more psychological then there's other things you can do to not put so much weight on that. For example most men seem to get taught that not fucking makes them losers and that's just untrue, unlearning harmful conditioning is good for all parties.

[–] Anonimo@lemmy.eco.br 0 points 1 week ago

OK, let's be clear. You are pontificating based on what? Have you studied sexual medicine? Gynecology? Physiotherapy?Psychology? Do know me or my wife?

40% of women experience dyspareunia (painful intercourse), and often never realize it’s treatable, or they take long to realize. My wife’s physiotherapist had a 60-years old patient. Additionally, libido naturally varies between individuals, meaning couples with mismatched desires must both adapt.

https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/hometown-health/speaking-of-health/womens-sexual-health-when-being-intimate-hurts

These physical factors are often compounded by psychological barriers, such as sexually repressive upbringings and stigma surrounding therapy. When a woman is unaware that her condition is treatable, she may deflect blame rather than seek help. Framing sexual difficulties as solely a husband’s fault only reinforces this resistance. Blame narratives prevent women from accessing the care they need.