this post was submitted on 18 Apr 2026
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This generalization can fuck off in a number of different ways.
As a father I'm seeing all these other fathers and just think damn glad i'm not their wife.
My friends and I do make this generalization a bit, but mostly at older men, boomer age. We all know a number of men who will proudly claim they never changed a diaper.
My mother in law and grandmother in law were in amazement at the level of participation I had with my kids. They commented on it a number of times (jokingly telling my wife to lock me down with sex) when they'd see me do almost anything for my own kids.
I don't know any new fathers though
You say that based on what? Do you know these couple's reality? See my other post: https://lemmy.eco.br/post/22554051/20529801
This post is explicitly talking about fathers who never change diapers or help at all with the babies. Does that apply to you?
I think nowadays I do a similar amount of work as she. Some tasks she does more, others I do more. And we both have help.
Anyway, our sex problems are as old as our marriage, many years before pregnancy.
Regarding your other comment about not having a right to sex: marriage comes with an implicit spectation of sex. If someone despises sex, they need to make it clear before marriage.
I am not talking about one side being a dick and still demanding sex. I am talking about a person with clear health problems refusing treatment because therapy is for the weak and therefore she has no problem.
I am not saying she is evil, I am saying prejudiced caricatures cause troubled people to refuse therapy.
Maybe I wrote in a confusing way, but she is a much happier person now after therapy! The fights and headaches are gone. Previously, twice or thrice a week she had such violent headaches that induced small visual hallucinations, but she refused treatment because "it is normal, I was born this way".
Based on lots of things that i dont care to argue about. I don't know if you actually believe that gender equality has been achieved wrt domestic labor but it hasn't. A lot of dads view stuff like cooking, cleaning and changing diapers as the moms job still.
I never said gender equality has been achieved. You are pontificating about people you never met, based on prejudice. What is your data? Mayo Clinic says 40% of women experience dyspareunia (painful intercourse), yet many don’t realize it’s a treatable medical condition. Or they take long to realize. My wife’s physiotherapist had a 60-years-old patient. Additionally, libido naturally varies between individuals, meaning couples with mismatched desires must both adapt.
These physical factors are often compounded by psychological barriers, such as sexually repressive upbringings and stigma surrounding therapy. When a woman is unaware that her condition is treatable, she may deflect blame rather than seek help. Pontificating that sexual difficulties are always the husband’s fault only reinforces this resistance. Blame narratives prevent women from accessing the care they need.
Generalization sucks.