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I've had a horrible couple of days. I'm exhausted. Ophthalmology tests show my vision loss has spread, now I need a brain scan to find out why. I've had so many appointments these past couple of days I'm worn out. This is on top of all my usual crap, so many appointments. The endocrinologist says I should cut down my thyroxine dose, it would lower my risk of another stroke. But if we lower it, there is more chance of the cancer coming back and spreading. The high dose is meant to suppress the remaining cancer cells and stop them spreading. Hmm, more cancer or another stroke. What a lovely choice! Honestly I'd just lower it and take the risk of cancer if it wasn't for the fact that my body has gotten so used to this high dose that it can't function correctly at a lower dose. Last time we tried to lower it I ended up so exhausted I couldn't get through a day without falling asleep.
My landlady will also be away longer as her daughter has been readmitted to hospital with her surgery area infected. So I'm on my own for longer, need to raise more money to pay for all my hospital transport and it's such a high amount I need, I'm stressing about whether it will be possible to raise.
And the icing on the cake, I got locked out of the house today. I didn't forget my key or anything like that. The door just got stuck. Nothing I did would open it. I had to sit outside in the freezing cold for 6 hours waiting for my neighbour, to come home and fiddle with it until he could get it open. Now I'm paranoid about having to go out again in case this happens again.
And i have a UTI. Why does everything always have to be so unrelentingly difficult?
Is this seriously still considered healthcare? I have a few other words in mind that sound way more fitting. This is so fucked up.
Great, just great. It's not on your landlady, obviously, but all the problems that arise from it just make everything worse.
Could the list of things that shouldn't happen to anybody in one day, let alone you, get any more frustrating and infuriating?
Apparently, yes.
I'm so sorry sweetie, I really hope you can raise the money and get the treatment you deserve, though I will honestly say, I am not holding out much hope for the NHS's capabilities. Hang in there <3
Thank you. I just feel much more stressed than usual, like my heart is pounding and I can hardly breathe and I don't know how to make it stop.
Sounds like anxiety to me :/ I wish I knew a way to relieve the stress, apart from actual health care, that would definitely make you breathe easier.
Winning the lottery, or assisted suicide would help.
Let's go for the lottery first
I've tried, even used to do manifestation to make it happen. never worked!