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I was taking my daily mid-morning poop today and while I was wiping, I thought, I wonder how most people wipe.

I tend to wipe while standing up cause it's more comfortable and allows for more cheek-spreaditivity.

So, I beg the question: How does most of Lemmy wipe? Do you wipe while standing up or do you wipe while sitting down? Why?

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[-] DharkStare@lemmy.world 136 points 1 year ago

This question pops up every now and then on social media and it always blows my mind that there are people who wipe standing up. I just don't understand the logistics of it and it seems like it would make things more difficult.

[-] half_built_pyramids@lemmy.world 30 points 1 year ago

Right? Standing up -- strictly for topology reasons -- is going to make the situation more difficult.

[-] ivanafterall@kbin.social 16 points 1 year ago

If you lean fully forward, palms against the floor, then reach back?

[-] half_built_pyramids@lemmy.world 21 points 1 year ago

That's called a st Louis arch

[-] scytale@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago

Then that's not standing up anymore.

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 5 points 1 year ago

Reach back with what??

[-] Nihilore@lemmy.world 2 points 1 year ago

That’s practically what I do… sitting down

[-] havokdj@lemmy.world 22 points 1 year ago

I wipe in a position that is more like squatting, because standing up clenches the cheeks making it harder to clean, but sitting leaves the possibility of potentially dipping your hand in the toilet bowl.

It is the superior way, embrace the squat wipe.

[-] gnuplusmatt@startrek.website 10 points 1 year ago

potentially dipping your hand in the toilet bowl

Only in those strangely deep american toilets

[-] blackbrook@mander.xyz 5 points 1 year ago

Wouldn't deep make it harder to dip your hand in?

[-] gnuplusmatt@startrek.website 2 points 1 year ago

deep water, as in strange high water line, not deeper bowl

[-] saltnotsugar@lemm.ee 20 points 1 year ago

I just feel that the International Ass Wiping Authority guidance 27881 should be followed. By standing the cheeks close slightly, which what the hell, why would I want to wipe that. I do understand the white paper, “Stank Bowl finding 87712-b” outlined the wack idea of wiping over the nuclear blast you just left introduces some risk, but it’s not significant enough to stand up and introduce additional ass closing issues.

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 9 points 1 year ago

We don’t stand that way. It’s “standing” in the sense the butt comes up off the toilet. But the overall posture is still “sitting”.

[-] saltnotsugar@lemm.ee 11 points 1 year ago

Ok so the Council of Auditable Shats (1998 conference) did mention this is a good hybrid deployment model.

[-] ebits21@lemmy.ca 4 points 1 year ago

You need a slight forward tilt for separation.

[-] Yokozuna@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

Makes me think about the video with the huuuuge bulky black man thought everyone pooped in their hands and caress it gently into the water.

[-] GenesisJones@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

For the life of me I cannot tell if that was a bit or not

[-] HerbalGamer@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

Funny how I'm the other way around.

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee 3 points 1 year ago

It provides excellent access to the ass

[-] ebits21@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 year ago

Works fine and I’ve anyways done it that way…

I’ve tried sitting but feels wrong…

[-] Socsa@sh.itjust.works 2 points 1 year ago

Children learn to stand up to wipe because thats the only way they can reach. Some people never learn otherwise.

this post was submitted on 26 Sep 2023
87 points (81.8% liked)

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