badposting
badposting is a comm where you post badly
This is not a !the_dunk_tank@hexbear.net alternative. This is not a !memes@hexbear.net alternative. This is a place for you to post your bad posts.
Ever had a really shitty bit idea? Joke you want to take way past the point of where it was funny? Want to feel like a stand-up comedy guy who's been bombing a set for the past 30 minutes straight and at this point is just saying shit to see if people react to it? Really bad pun? A homemade cringe concoction? A cognitohazard that you have birthed into this world and have an urge to spread like chain mail?
Rules:
- Do not post good posts.
- Unauthorized goodposting is to be punished in the manner of commenting the phrase "GOOD post" followed by an emoji that has not yet been used in the thread
- Use an emoticon/kaomoji/rule-three-abiding ASCII art if the rations run out
- This is not a comm where you direct people to other people's bad posts. This is a comm where you post badly.
- This rule intentionally left blank.
- If you're struck for rule 3, skill issue, not allowed to complain about it.
Code of Conduct applies just as much here as it does everywhere else. Technically, CoC violations are bad posts. On the other hand: L + ratio + get ~~better~~ worse material bozo
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THE CHARCOAL BRIQUETTE WAS INVENTED IN 1897, BUT INTEREST IN IT WAS SLOW-BURNING, SO TO SPEAK, UNTIL THE 1920s.
THAT'S WHEN AUTOMAKER, PROUD ANTISEMITE, AND FASCIST HENRY FORD DECIDED TO RECYCLE WOOD SCRAPS FROM CAR MAKING INTO BARBECUE BRIQUETTES, AND THESE LITTLE NUGGETS BECAME A SMOKING SENSATION.
BARBECUING WITH CHARCOAL HAS BECOME IMMENSELY POPULAR SINCE FORD'S TIME, AND EVERY YEAR, SEVERAL MILLION TONS OF WOOD SCRAPS ARE CONVERTED INTO HIGH-QUALITY CHARCOAL BRIQUETTES.
TODAY, BRIQUETTE PRODUCTION STARTS WITH SAWDUST AND WOOD CHIPS FROM LUMBER MILLS.
A TRUCK UNLOADS IT ALL INTO A PIT.
BULLDOZERS BLEND THE MATERIAL CALLED FUEL TO OBTAIN A UNIFORM END PRODUCT.
AS THE MIX TRAVELS UP A CONVEYOR, AN ELECTROMAGNET REMOVES ANY METAL CONTAMINATES.
THE MIX FALLS ONTO A VIBRATORY SCREENER, WHICH SIFTS OUT THE LARGER PIECES OF WOOD.
AT THIS POINT, THE FUEL IS STILL VERY MOIST.
TO DRY IT, A WORM SCREW DRAWS THE MIX UP INTO A LONG, ROTATING DRYER.
THE DRYER HEATS THE WOOD MIX TO A SEARING 1,400 DEGREES.
THE DRYER IS SEALED TO PREVENT OXYGEN FROM LEAKING IN.
THIS ALLOWS THE WOOD TO DRY WITHOUT CATCHING FIRE.
AFTER FOUR MINUTES IN THE DRYER, THE MOISTURE HAS BEEN COOKED OUT OF THE MIX.
WORKERS ADD ANTHRACITE COAL TO THE HOPPER, AND IT MIXES IN WITH THE FUEL.
ANTHRACITE COAL IS KNOWN FOR BURNING AT HIGH TEMPERATURE.
THEN THEY MIX IN LIME.
LIME MAKES THE BRIQUETTES TURN WHITE AFTER THEY'RE IGNITED -- A VISUAL INDICATION THAT THE BARBECUE IS READY TO ROCK 'N' ROLL.
THE MIX, NOW BLACKENED, PASSES UNDER A SECOND ELECTROMAGNET TO REMOVE ANY METAL THAT COULD DAMAGE THE EQUIPMENT DOWNSTREAM.
FINALLY, WORKERS BLEND IN CORNSTARCH, WHICH BINDS THE INGREDIENTS TOGETHER.
A WORM SCREW SUPPLIES THE MIXTURE TO A PRESS ROLL, WHERE A CONSTANT SPRAY OF WATER KEEPS THE MIXTURE FROM STICKING.
THE PRESS ROLLS COMPACT THE MIXTURE INTO BRIQUETTES.
THE PROCESS TAKES JUST A FRACTION OF A SECOND.
AT THIS POINT, THE BRIQUETTES CONTAIN 35% MOISTURE AND ARE VERY SOFT.
A SCREENER SHAKES OUT FINE MATERIAL FROM THE BRIQUETTES, WHICH IS RECYCLED BACK INTO THE PROCESS.
A SWEEP BELT TRANSPORTS AND DISTRIBUTES THE BRIQUETTES IN A 250-FOOT DRYING TUNNEL.
THEY ARE HEATED TO 280 DEGREES FOR 2 1/2 HOURS.
THIS WILL REDUCE THEIR MOISTURE LEVEL FROM 35% TO JUST 5%.
THE LOWER THE MOISTURE LEVEL, THE BETTER IT BURNS.
A CONVEYOR TRANSPORTS THE BRIQUETTES TO AUTOMATED SCALES THAT WEIGH THEM FOR PACKAGING.
EVERY PORTION IS THE SAME, PLUS OR MINUS ONE BRIQUETTE.
AS THE SCALES RELEASE THE BRIQUETTES, ROBOTS BELOW MOVE BAGS INTO POSITION TO CAPTURE THEM.
A SEALING MACHINE GLUE-SEALS THE BAGS, THEN PRINTS A PRODUCTION DATE AND SHIPPED CODE ON EACH ONE.
OPEN THE BAG, AND A BACKYARD BARBECUE IS JUST ONE MATCH STROKE AWAY.
AND WHO CAN RESIST THE SMOKEY FLAVOR OF CHARCOAL-GRILLED FOOD? :grillman: :grill: