this post was submitted on 04 Apr 2026
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I'm a guy.
Please don't get me flowers.
I'd rather have, like, an expensive scotch and a lap dance. I like flowers, don't get me wrong. But (1), I would probably look at them for about 2 seconds and be like "okay, now what?" and (2) in our culture, you give flowers to women, and I would then be confused as to why you would think I would want flowers. Am I coming off as gay? I'm not gay. I don't want to be percieved as gay... but do people think I'm gay anyway?
Ooh yeah that does sound a little gay.