this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2026
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I can get behind full on nipple torturing someone’s dad. Constantly mispronounce words- pay for everything in nickles that refer to as nipples, talking about your city should involve at least occasionally saying something to the effect of “I’m a big fan of this areola, but that one’s been sucked dry by greedy housing developers.”
Maybe cut the nipples out of your shirts. Definitely cut the nipples out of his shirts. Change your lock screen photo to a cropped version of this.
Replace your light fixtures with boob lights and ask him to help tighten the nipples. “Just give them a twist, I’m begging you.” Serve him Vietnamese milk melons daily. In fact, every meal or snack has to involve dairy or dairy alternative milks.
Yeah, I think I could get this guy’s dad to cry within 2 days. 3 if he’s vegan.
It’s a little nipply outside. What? I said it’s nippy outside.
Damn! That's far beyond what I was proposing... this took a dark turn... dark and pointy turn
Are you some sort of torture mastermind? Holy fuck 😂 even accounting for potential difficulties.
Jeuss Christ! Go back to waterboarding people in Gitmo, you don't belong in polite society!
Dastardly