this post was submitted on 12 Mar 2026
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Greentext

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[–] certified_expert@lemmy.world 43 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Or, say "hey how are your nipples" and when he says "what" you reply "what" too, to play with his mind. Then he will question wether the first nipple conversation even happened

[–] Gullible@sh.itjust.works 28 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago) (5 children)

I can get behind full on nipple torturing someone’s dad. Constantly mispronounce words- pay for everything in nickles that refer to as nipples, talking about your city should involve at least occasionally saying something to the effect of “I’m a big fan of this areola, but that one’s been sucked dry by greedy housing developers.”

Maybe cut the nipples out of your shirts. Definitely cut the nipples out of his shirts. Change your lock screen photo to a cropped version of this.

Replace your light fixtures with boob lights and ask him to help tighten the nipples. “Just give them a twist, I’m begging you.” Serve him Vietnamese milk melons daily. In fact, every meal or snack has to involve dairy or dairy alternative milks.

Yeah, I think I could get this guy’s dad to cry within 2 days. 3 if he’s vegan.

[–] KairuByte@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 3 hours ago)

It’s a little nipply outside. What? I said it’s nippy outside.

[–] Junkers_Klunker@feddit.dk 4 points 1 day ago

Are you some sort of torture mastermind? Holy fuck 😂 even accounting for potential difficulties.

[–] certified_expert@lemmy.world 10 points 1 day ago

Damn! That's far beyond what I was proposing... this took a dark turn... dark and pointy turn

Jeuss Christ! Go back to waterboarding people in Gitmo, you don't belong in polite society!