Long road, long struggle to get housing has been over for a month. It took.... 608 days from becoming on the streets homeless (not even crashing couches) But I moved into my apartment on February 1st with help from a housing org!
Now what?
I literally feel feral, idk how to connect with people, lost most social skills from the sheer dehumanization and I dont leave my apartment much because I'm afraid ill lose it or won't be able to come back or some neurotic shit i cant help but to think.
I guess what im asking is; Formally unhoused loves of hexbear, what steps did you take to help get you back to "normal" social functioning/out of survival mode?
picture is my gfs lovely orange baby named Athena
Not homeless but institutionalized for several years as a young person. When I got out I was also pretty feral, socially fucked, and just generally not right in the head. I was also pretty depressed and had mild to severe suicidal ideation. The coffee shop down the block saved my life. Seriously.
If you can afford the couple bucks a day for a black coffee from your nearest coffee shop, go there straight away first thing when you wake up. It helped me like nothing else to have to be presentable to humans. Wake up, shower, brush teeth, put on reasonably clean clothes, go to coffee shop, be polite and pleasant with the baristas (don’t fucking hit on them or I’ll find you and punch you in the throat), get coffee, consume it slowly and not like a wild thing.
Bring a book, magazine, newspaper, whatever. Someone someday will eventually ask you about it and it’ll probably be a regular or a barista. Over time you’ll be a regular and will have a robust group of coffee friends and if you’re lucky and diligent, one or several might turn into lifelong friends.
I ended up in not one, but two bands this way. I met a partner at that coffee shop. Decades later I’m still friends with some of the people from that coffee shop. Saved my goddam life.
as a former hikikomori, this is legitimately good advice and part of how I got out of my years-long rut. That and finally having healthcare to do therapy for my multiple conditions.
lmao I cried reading this like yes this is the exact advice my ass needs: clear concise and simple in a way i cant fuck up! My partners can support me with this too for going the first few times!!
I love this advice.
I genuinely feel that we're all fucked up mentally in some way, but what keeps us regular is having some kind of structure/rota where you have to interact with people - for many that's a job, but in this increasingly unstable jobless world, it's becoming hobby groups and face-to-face meet and greets