this post was submitted on 03 Mar 2026
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Life so boring :/
But okay wanna hear me gossip?
So I'm Chinese American.
So my older brother just got a visa to China valid for 10 years, 90 days per visit for "visiting relatives" but he plans to meet some girl in China and get married and then bring her to the US and like start a family or something... And he already some girl's WeChat and started chatting... (or something like that not sure)
Dude is so socially awkward my mom has to, via some "friend of friend" network or something, arranged for their introduction to each other... I mean for context my parents are also in an arranged marriage... so this is just echoing the past really...
He went to college for 4 years in the US and didn't get together with any girls... (I mean I'm not judging lol, I was too depressed to even go to college) so yeah there's that
Here's the thing tho, he was so abusive as a brother to me (he's 5 years older than me and already caused me so much trauma), I can't imagine this dude being a father... probably gonna be abusive to his children... RIP.
My family didn't even tell me about it... they just talk so loud in the livingroom I overheard everything lmfao.
So yeah..
/end of gossip
Wow, wtf
Move out as soon as you can afford bud and never look back
Eh... he'll have to move out soon when he gets married...
Rest of your family doesn't sound like the greatest either man, maybe I'm wrong cause i don't have enough info
Obviously I can't make an accurate inference since I don't know you or your family, but I'd hope that over the years your brother has matured, or at least through a real relationship that he would mature. Not the girls job to do it of course, but maybe meaningfully connecting with someone would be enough for him to gain some self reflection to better himself? A hope than certainty of course.
I'm Chinese-Canadian so to some extent, I have some kind of insight. Definitely haven't been the best to my own brother and have suffered my own abuses from my parents. But I think self reflection and my own growth in my 20s, both from living on my own while in uni and living on my own, as well as having been in a long term relationship during that time, I was able to improve. Not perfect and still a product of my past, but hoping your brother is able to be better if he does have kids and a family. Not inflict generational trauma. Or at least, I hope things work out for you.