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If I had less empathy and more guts, I would. I actually tried it once, and those around me accused me of being divisive, overly sensitive, and cold. They claim my problem is that I can't handle other people's opinions. I live abroad and had to break the no-contact approach to visit family, and my mum started bawling her eyes out begging for a renewed relationship.

The reasons I went NC were her Facebook-led brainwashing and her sending a petition link to ban gender-affirming care for children to my boyfriend (she says it was an accident but I'm infuriated that she sent that link to anyone, not just because it was sent to my boyfriend, unlike what others think). Even my boyfriend couldn't understand at first that it's not just about me seeing what she thinks, but about me having a relationship with someone spreading and causing harm to others. His solution was to just tell her that I don't want to hear about her opinions on social media, but I asked her to choose between her dangerous conspiracy theories and our relationship. Her response was, "You know what my opinions are," and so I replied, "Well then you've made your decision," and blocked her. It was easy to be NC with her until it was time to visit my family. She later sent a message to my boyfriend, which included the phrase something to the effect of, "Maybe when she matures, she'll learn how to be more tolerant."

I've figured that the only way to maintain both a somewhat idea of peace and my sanity is to completely ignore all negative aspects of my mother. I pretend that I don't know what her ideologies are and that whoever I went NC with is another person. It's depressing, and whenever I think about it I get livid all over again, but I feel like I can't escape it "because we're family" 🙄. I never talk about politics or social issues with my mother, and I cut her off if she initiates such conversations. She tried to push to have her say but I tried not to fall for the trap and tell her, "If you say one more thing about this topic, I'm going to leave because I won't allow myself to be in a place where my boundaries aren't respected." I've grown very good at just getting up and leaving, and yes people do think it's rude and stubborn but I don't care.

What "helps" me is knowing that she's not intrinsically like this. She's a very sensitive and kind person, but she's been brainwashed and indoctrinated into falling for the propaganda of drag queens forcing transitions on children and TV shows manipulating children into homosexuality. When you dive deep into it, we have very similar values: protect the innocent and vulnerable; no one deserves to die for their identity; the government lies to you all the time, and so on. The difference is that my basis is Liberalism and scientific facts and her basis is religious teachings and Facebook comments. I've turned my focus from trying to debunk her claims and calling her out to treating her as a mindless sheep. I try to educate her on how to use critical thinking skills, how to spot red flags in the media, and different perspectives, philosophical arguments, and so on. I truly believe that one of the biggest obstacles for these people who don't want to be evil but are complicit in evil acts is the lack of education and cognitive skills. I don't have much hope for her ever being progressive, but I do hope I can at least get her to catch nonsense claims and predatory propaganda.

I know that she doesn't want to be evil because she doesn't wish harm in the way that neo-nazis do. She doesn't want the LGBTQI+ community to be slaughtered and she understands that many of them need support, but she doesn't think that it's not a choice and doesn't agree with encouraging that lifestyle (i.e. doesn't want to legalise equal rights). She doesn't want women who get abortion care to be stoned to death or for women to be forced to give birth if they're dying, but she's been taught to believe that women use it as a contraceptive, that foetuses have the same rights as people, and that abortion leads to fertility and psychological issues. She doesn't want people to die from viruses, but she's recently become scared of vaccines and sceptical of their development and side effects (she vaccinated us). She agrees that huge corporations are stealing her data and spreading misinformation, but she's not ready to give up Facebook for it. She wants to feed the hungry, but she believes that charity is the only solution for it.

.... I keep dreaming of a world where my mum doesn't get brainwashed in the first place and becomes a progressive Liberal... 🤦‍♀️