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You're probably exactly right for the places you're thinking of, but neither of those things have to be hell. Apartments originally were spacious places like the home-sized ones, the justification for their existence being that you get to live in the city centre rather than that being the only selling point.
If you want to see good examples of big cities with nice levels of public space, look at urban design in south korea and china
Oh I guarantee I'm not. Garage full of tools, mechanic in my spare time, dirt biking, drumming in bands, recording bands, gardening, collecting video game consoles and records, amateur car racing, home audio setup etc..and all from my house. (Besides car racing, lol)
Any time I had to be in an apartment was torture, awful loud annoying neighbors (like myself, ha!!), no space, junk appliances I can't replace or fix, people parking in my spot, no garage.. I guess I'm just super unique but I love to do a ton of stuff which does not fit apartment living. Oh and, wasting rent money on something you don't own. May as well burn cash. I feel sad for people sitting on their laptop for 15 hours a day and thinking that's living. But if they're happy , sure!