Trans
General trans community.
Rules:
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Follow all blahaj.zone rules
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All posts must be trans-related. Other queer-related posts go to c/lgbtq.
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Don't post negative, depressing news articles about trans issues unless there is a call to action or a way to help.
Resources:
Best resource: https://github.com/cvyl/awesome-transgender Site with links to resources for just about anything.
Trevor Project: crisis mental health services for LGBTQ people, lots of helpful information and resources: https://www.thetrevorproject.org/
The Gender Dysphoria Bible: useful info on various aspects of gender dysphoria: https://genderdysphoria.fyi/en
StainedGlassWoman: Various useful essays on trans topics: https://stainedglasswoman.substack.com/
Trans resources: https://trans-resources.info/
[USA] Resources for trans people in the South: https://southernequality.org/resources/transinthesouth/#provider-map
[USA] Report discrimination: https://action.aclu.org/legal-intake/report-lgbtqhiv-discrimination
[USA] Keep track on trans legislation and news: https://www.erininthemorning.com/
[GERMANY] Bundesverband Trans: Find medical trans resources: https://www.bundesverband-trans.de/publikationen/leitfaden-fuer-behandlungssuchende/
[GERMANY] Trans DB: Insurance information (may be outdated): https://transdb.de/
[GERMANY] Deutsche Gesellschaft für Transidentität und Intersexualität: They have contact information for their advice centers and some general information for trans and intersex people. They also do activism: dgti.org
*this is a work in progress, and these resources are courtesy of users like you! if you have a resource that helped you out in your trans journey, comment below in the pinned post and I'll add here to pass it on
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You would know that better than me. Do you tell yourself transphobic narratives about how you're not really nonbinary because [TERF argument insert here]?
I tell myself I am not nonbinary because my nonbinary friend said so, and them as a real nonbinary person are a better authority on subject than me as a cisgender man. (I know this logic is flawed but I cannot change my thoughts that easily even when I know this is not logical.)
What does being nonbinary mean to you, specifically?
Well, how most people define it as the gender identity that is not strictly the man or the woman.
The way that I thought I was, before my friend told me otherwise, was that I was mostly male but had some not binary elements in the gender? (Apologies for the bad English.) Like, sometimes I feel very masculine and I like looking and being seen as male, but other times I feel much less masculine and I want to wear things like skirts and paint my nails and have the long hair.
So is it about liking different things at different times for you, then? Like, how you feel about your gender expression changes over time?
Also, how do you feel about your body? When you like expressing yourself more feminine, do you mind your body being masculine at all, or is it purely the presentation part of gender?
It changes very often, like some days I feel like a man and some days I feel less like a man and some days I feel barely like a man.
I have never actually expressed myself femininely outside of growing out my hair (which many people in my life dislike.). I do not mind having a masculine body, I would prefer it over a feminine body, I just wish I could express myself differently sometimes when I want to.
Thanks for sharing that, that helps me understand you a lot better!
I'm definitely not trying to tell you how you feel, that's for you to know for yourself, and you definitely know more about yourself that I do from just reading your comments.
However, that said,
sounds a lot to me like being genderflux - meaning your gender oscillates between one gender (male, in your case) and agender (not having a gender at all) or possibly some other nonbinary identity, depending on what you mean by 'not a man', without ever crossing onto the other side of the spectrum.
The fact that you prefer having a masculine body over a feminine body suggests to me that you're at least masculine of center, rather than transfeminine, but you could still be various forms of nonbinary that are masculine of center - agender, genderflux, demiboy, etc.
And it's also important to note that gender presentation is not the same as gender identity - you can want to express yourself in ways typically called 'feminine' without wanting to have a female body, and without being a woman - if you're not.
But all in all, these are just guesses, are any of my suggestions helpful in understanding your identity? Do any of those terms resonate with you?
Thank you so much, you have no idea what this comment means to me. You taught me many new words that I will now spend hours researching while I should be sleeping xDDD.
Thank you for your kindness and understanding :))))
Do you know how can I get rid of the feeling that I am being fake because I do not seem nonbinary?
I've got to sleep too, unfortunately, but please remind me to come back to this in the morning :3
One thing maybe you could tell me is what you mean by you don't 'seem' nonbinary? Like, you don't present androgynous/fem enough? To me, what you've said about not feeling male all the time seems to indicate that you are nonbinary at least in some form - and you don't need to look a certain way to be a gender
I am leaving this here so in the morning you can see this.
I searched up some things about genderflux and found a Reddit post asking about it, and the top comment is a long one that explains it a lot. Would you say this is good?
So then I might be genderflux masculine? As in sometimes I am more masculine than other times? I do not have the exact vocabulary to describe what it is when I feel less masculine, I do not know if agender is the right term or not (absence of gender I think is the description?)
Also, I am thinking, should I talk to my friend about this and what they said? I don't think they even remember saying it or me mentioning that I feel that I may be nonbinary. I don't think they would disagree that I am nonbinary if I talk to them about this, considering they know more about genders than me.
Also, another question about vocabulary that I have is that can transgender and nonbinary be used together? My friend (like me maybe) identifies with multiple labels such as nonbinary and also transgender and gender qu--r (I don't know if that is the good word to say, if it's not, I will delete it.). They identify and present more masculine and nonbinary. As the comment on the post I linked says, nonbinary is an "umbrella term" that can incorporate any gender that is not just male or just female or that is not male or female (if the information is accurate, which upon further research, it might be.) Can transgender and nonbinary then be co identitys? (Sorry if that made no sense.)
Talking to people here made me feel really much more confident and comfortable with the idea that I may be not just or not entirely or not always a man (still researching vocabulary), and I am very very grateful that I did this and can get these supports :)))
Nonbinary is often treated as part of the trans umbrella, yeah. It's up to you if you want to personally identify with the term as genderflux masculine though.
I present entirely masculine, and have my whole life. The only experimenting I can do, really, is with the hair and maybe wearing lighter colors. I don't want any body in the real life to suspect that I may be transgender (this is not out of my own transphobia but their).