this post was submitted on 23 Feb 2026
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My initial thought is video games, everything has pros and cons, sure. However, it feels like anyone not into video games views them extrodinarly negatively. Any other hobbies parallel to that in your opinion?

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[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago (1 children)

It's definitely skewed towards neurodivergent people, but not exclusively.

Lots of trauma on both sides of the slash (ie both in dominants and submissives). Reenacting a variant of how it felt to be bullied or yelled at/hit by your parents or even so far as reenacting sexual violence done to you within a safe space where you can end it at any time is remarkably healing, and it's easy to from there just fall in love with all of it. And on the dominant side that can be a form of taking control back in your life. A friend of mine got into being a Domme at her second husband's request, but she fell in love with it because it returned to her the feeling of control that her abusive first husband had stolen from her.

Sensory seeking behaviors are super common in the bondage scene and the sadomasochism scene.

For people with social difficulties the extent to which everything is negotiated and clearly communicated is really refreshing, and then since there's so much neurodivergence things like flat affects, saying stupid shit without thinking, etc is generally understood and not mistreated.

There's also just generally a hippie/weirdo/alternative vibe to the community. You'll meet reiki practitioners and you'll see arguments over whether fire cupping actually does anything besides bruising the hell out of a back by people who do it for fun and generally agree that bruising the hell out of a back can make it feel better outside the bruising because of endorphins and distraction. Oh also a hell of a lot of nonmonogamy.

I'm sure there's more if I think of it. Ultimately, you have to be a bit weird to take the moves from "i think this is hot in theory or in erotica" or "we do this in our bedroom" to "I'm interested in going to a discussion group/class/social event/play party about this in person where I live". The first event is terrifying to actually walk into. And then it's another big step to actually go to enough that people remember who you are or to get involved in a more community focused side of the scene like the leather community

[–] SCmSTR@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 1 day ago (1 children)

People like you make the world a better place

[–] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 2 points 1 day ago

I try, fortunately I believe making the world weirder makes it better