this post was submitted on 22 Feb 2026
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[–] sharkaccident@lemmy.world 16 points 4 days ago (3 children)

This is all so stupid. It's the religious term "marriage" that they all fight for. Give it to them.

Instead government issues and recognizes contractual unions between two consenting adults.

Problem solved.

[–] noxypaws@pawb.social 7 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Give it to them.

Excuse me? Absolutely fucking not. You don't get to concede my marriage, and to be frank, fuck you for even suggesting it.

Instead government issues and recognizes contractual unions between two consenting adults.

Marriage is not a "contract". A contract binds two parties to an agreement. Marriage binds many third parties to be obligated to recognize it for things like hospital visitation, privilege to not be forced to testify against one's own spouse, "married filing jointly", and hundreds more examples.

This argument you're making right now is the EXACT SAME ARGUMENT I was having with people vocally and financially supporting band on same-sex marriage in the 2000s. I thought this braindead bigoted bullshit died in the 2010s, but here you are

[–] sharkaccident@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

I think you missed the main term in my response. Union. A union is a recognized formation of parts that work together for a common interest or purpose.

A "union" could be designated to have all rights and privileges that you lay out as only reserved for marriage. But a union could also go further. It could go into any level of granularity that the people of the union specify that might be ambiguous with typical "marriage rights". If marriage defines everything then what's the point of a prenup? Also, ALL of your examples can be superseded by other legal agreements, contracts, wills, etc. For example, a signed power of attorney takes priority of hospital decisions.

I'm making quite the opposite point on same-sex marriage.

[–] noxypaws@pawb.social 2 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That's a lot of "could" and "would" doing a lot of work while ultimately still in support of fascist bigoted bullshit.

All hypothetical shit when the actual, currently working concept of marriage already exists

[–] sharkaccident@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Now you lost me. Are you saying the current system of marriage works and at the same time insisting I'm the one against same sex marriage?

[–] GlendatheGayWitch@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Separate but equal is not the solution you think it is.

[–] DreamlandLividity@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (2 children)

It does not have to be separate. No legally recognized marriage for anyone. You want marriage, go to a priest. No reason for gov to stick their nose in.

It is pretty much a violation of separation of church and state to take a religious term from a religious ritual like marriage and giving it legal weight.

[–] sharkaccident@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

I think you made my point better than me.

[–] SkyeStarfall@lemmy.blahaj.zone 3 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

FWIW, I support abolition of marriage. It's weird that relationships are enshrined in law anyway, as many people do not fit into those rigid definitions. Whether it is because they do not wish to have a marriage/romantic relationships or otherwise have them be legally bound, or because they are poly and have more partners, and asking people to choose isn't great

In my head I guess marriage just feels archaic. Sure, it still got a similar purpose to how it was historically, but I question whether it's actually a good thing to keep

[–] GlendatheGayWitch@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago (2 children)

How would you protect the rights that go with marriage if you abolish marriage? Those include the right to visit your spouse in the hospital, right to attend spouse's funeral, right to name spouse for inheritance purposes with legal weight, right to live in the housing you shared with your spouse after your spouse dies, right for your spouse to make medical decisions should you be unable to make those decisions, and others that I may be overlooking.

[–] sharkaccident@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Your recognized "union" provides all of rights and goes to any level of detail you wish. For example, imagine a union, will, POA, all wrapped up into one.

[–] GlendatheGayWitch@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

The laws for POA would have to change to allow for such a union. There would have to be some kind of protection for wills as well, because there are going to be fights from people against the LGBTQ community.

If all marriages were dissolved and became unions, that might work. Otherwise, it would be a separate but equal thing.

[–] Gaja0@lemmy.zip 1 points 3 days ago (2 children)

You can do paperwork for these things. Marriage is convenient though. We need laws that just say "yeah I trust my friend/relative to decide for me" like a non marriage

[–] noxypaws@pawb.social 2 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

You can do paperwork for these things

Please explain to me how exactly could I "do paperwork" to restore, for example the spousal communications privilege and the spousal testimonial privilege that would both be taken away from me if my marriage was dissolved.

And do you really expect people to just start pre-emptively filling out paperwork to notify every single hospital they might possibly ever end up in after some major health issue, that would allow their spouse to visit them, particularly if it's a hospital in an area hostile to queer folks?

[–] sharkaccident@lemmy.world -1 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Please explain to me how exactly could I “do paperwork”

You enter into a contractual union that is recognized by the federal government.

[–] noxypaws@pawb.social 0 points 2 days ago (1 children)

That's not how contracts work

[–] sharkaccident@lemmy.world 0 points 1 day ago (1 children)

!That's not how contracts work!<

Which part? The entities entering into a contract or the judicial branch honoring contracts?

[–] noxypaws@pawb.social 1 points 1 day ago (1 children)

The part where a contract between two parties (spouses) has any power over anyone else who didn't sign the contract, like hospitals for visitation for example.

[–] sharkaccident@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

My hospital didn't sign my medical power of attorney. Yours did?

[–] Gaja0@lemmy.zip 0 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I get your point. I'm saying these should extend past marriages.

[–] noxypaws@pawb.social 0 points 1 day ago (1 children)

Why take my marriage of 12 years away then?

[–] Gaja0@lemmy.zip 1 points 1 day ago

Man, fuck your strawmans and fuck you. I support gay marriage. Try spinning that however will boost your moral superiority, but I'm not engaging with your bad faith bullshit.

[–] GlendatheGayWitch@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Paperwork didn't help the partners of AIDS victims who were kept out of the hospital and heard of their partner's passing via the obituaries and then kicked out of their house.

Even today, there are families who would separate sane sex partners and do the same awful things. Marriage guarantees rights, paperwork does nothing to stop the horrible people in our lives that would lash out at the first chance.

[–] sharkaccident@lemmy.world 0 points 2 days ago

If there "unions" and not "marriages" it wouldn't have been issue.

[–] astronaut_sloth@mander.xyz 1 points 4 days ago (1 children)

This has been my position since around the time when same sex marriage was being fought in the courts. Interestingly, a family member who is super conservative and religious came up with this same idea back then, and I was on board. (Her reasoning was that she wasn't against gay people having the same rights but that marriage is a "holy" bond between a man and a woman 🙄)

I've found that it's a way to get conservatives/religious folks onboard with same-sex marriage if their issue is the word "marriage" and ensuring its sanctity (cue eye-roll). It simultaneously outs the bigots because they can't hide behind religious BS, and they show their hand. Back in the '00s and early '10s, I would use it as a litmus test of which Republicans in my life I would continue to associate with.

[–] noxypaws@pawb.social 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

a family member who is super conservative and religious came up with this same idea back then, and I was on board

Maybe that's a sign that this is not something that you should be on board with.

As a gay man, I find people like you to be MORE frustrating than the ultra conservative bigots. The bigots I expect to be bigoted. Folks who side with bigoted positions who might otherwise be decent, however, I have to really think hard about what's wrong with them that they allow themselves to be swayed to bigoted positions.

[–] sharkaccident@lemmy.world -1 points 2 days ago (2 children)

@Noxy. Question. Would you rather be "married", with no rights or privileges, to your spouse or be in a "union" with your spouse with rights and privileges?

I hate to say it but religious people claim the word marriage. You can fight all you want but it won't change the outcome.

[–] Soggy@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

Fuck em. Stop giving religious people special rights and permissions and exceptions and privilege. Give them no new things and start taking away old ones.

[–] noxypaws@pawb.social 2 points 2 days ago

I reject your premise. I have already been married for twelve years. Both of your options take that away from me in one form or another.

I don't give a millionth of a shit what bigots hiding behind religion think or say. They are my oppressors. I give their opinions zero regard or respect. They are fundamentally bad and I will never concede.