this post was submitted on 18 Feb 2026
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Guy has only been single for five months. Will abort mission. I knew it was too good to be true.
I don't think that's a sign to run for the hills straight away. How long were they together? Do you have any inkling that he's not over it or you'd just be a rebound? Are you looking for a reason to run?
I just asked and he said it was a year. He has said he wants to travel but doesn't have anyone to go with, and that he will go on a solo trip when he's been single for "too long". I think that's just me reading into things.
If you mean rebound.. naww
5 months is okay.
Yeah I absolutely do not want to be someone to fill his void because he can't be happy on his own. I couldn't have imagined dating five months post-breakup, but everyone is different I guess.
Yea go with your gut.
I might be wrong but if he goes on and on about his ex then probably red flag but until then you never know :)
For a different perspective: I was 2 months single, and still living with my ex, when I met my now-partner. Together since Jan 2019.
It can work out. Unless you got icks for other reasons, I'd suggest at least a third date to see where his head is at.
Thanks for sharing your perspective! And happy seven years :)
Aw thank you! I'm not saying you should give this guy another chance btw, follow your gut instinct 100% with dating!!
Just that it might not mean anything to him/affecting him negatively :)
I trust you know this dude better than us, so ultimately listen to what your heart is telling you ๐
Thanks Spud <3
At least he is single....
That's mortifying ๐
I don't understand why that's a red flag
The first thing that came up when I found out was that maybe he's not happy being alone if he's dating that quickly after a breakup.
Three weeks is quick. Five months is fine.
It seems that YOU want to be single though. Which is fine. You seem to finding any reason not to date these guys.
Yeah maybe that is the case. I think I'm hypervigilant because I don't want to get hurt again.
I think that's the thing with relationships, if you're not prepared to get hurt you're not really committing to them. It's a Catch-22 for sure.
Very true. I know that if I do get hurt, I can deal with it though.
There's nothing wrong with being careful.
The problem is when that care builds a wall around you.
And that you become comfortable behind it.
My 2 cents.
We just called and spoke on the phone for almost two hours, and it felt like the first date again
That's a good thing right?
Yes!
Excellent :)
that sounds like one of those unfounded stupid things that you can read on the internet
and something I asked my clinical psych, she said it's meaningless, people get on with life
if you like the guy that's what counts, make the effort ๐
Yes the internet is full of stupid timelines. Maybe I just take a long time to get over things. I couldn't see myself dating someone five months after a breakup.
I told him about PHM and he wants to see it with me. Hopefully not to fill a void.
I think lots of people will enjoy the Rocky Grace dynamic.
I had one of those. The Ex was knocked up.
Yeah hmmm :(