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Chat is a text only community for casual conversation, please keep shitposting to the absolute minimum. This is intended to be a separate space from c/chapotraphouse or the daily megathread. Chat does this by being a long-form community where topics will remain from day to day unlike the megathread, and it is distinct from c/chapotraphouse in that we ask you to engage in this community in a genuine way. Please keep shitposting, bits, and irony to a minimum.

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I feel mistreated (hexbear.net)

submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by Wisconcom@hexbear.net to c/chat@hexbear.net

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I made a post asking what the key differences between Hexbear and Lemmygrad were, a question I already asked in the Matrix chat, and everyone there gave rude responses and acted as though I was trolling when I was just honestly curious as I never took the time to really engage with Hexbear before. It almost made me cry.

I have problems with my internet use. Every hour, sometimes half-hour, I check back into Hexbear. I suffer from severe OCD in combination with other mental illnesses; I can't help it. I just want somewhere to be welcome without being treated like a rapine beast for a past which I can't alter.

I am not here to cause drama or troll. I have deliberately avoided political arguments to avoid harming the community's flow. Yes, I have done foolish things in the past when I was 15, but have not we all?

I came here under the pseudonym I am most commonly remembered by as a peace gesture to a community which I have disrespected to indicate that I would not hide who I am and I was being honest for once, and I hope people would respect me too.

Is this too much to ask?

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[–] Erika3sis@hexbear.net 7 points 2 days ago

I felt like I was behaving questionably in the thread you're referring to, even before you deleted it: Asking about your username was supposed to be a character test of sorts — more specifically I was wondering about it because it reminded me of "Midwestern Marx", I should say — but I employed that character test way too early, without knowing more about your circumstances with respect to e.g. relative age and neurotype, and this misstep ended up causing you distress for the sake of test results that aren't even useful. So my behavior in that thread I think reflects poorly on my relationship to "herd mentality" and long-term justice: although I was trying to bear in mind that I don't know anything about you or whether others' skepticism or ire is justified or not, I think the awareness of some sort of "communal bad blood", even if I didn't understand it, still made me less courteous than I should've been.

Going forward, I should always try to establish a person's relative age and neurotype compared to myself before further interacting with them or referring to them publicly. This should hopefully allow me to treat the person in question more sensitively and appropriately.

Long term, I need to interrogate more properly how to combat the influence of "herd mentality" on my own behavior, and I need to interrogate the broader cultural and dynamic reasons why "herd mentality" is able to influence my behavior, and how the broader culture and social dynamics can be changed to minimize this issue of "herd mentality". This has been a point of concern for me for a long time, and also one of the most difficult points to address, as it goes to the very core of human psychology.